


la prière d'une vierge (the maiden's prayer)

by tokyogyu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Backstory, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Choi Soobin-Centric, Dancer Choi Yeonjun, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, No one dies dw, OT5 Friendship, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pianist Choi Soobin, Popular Choi Yeonjun, Strangers to Lovers, Whipped Choi Yeonjun, taegyu if you squint, this isn't shigatsu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27395749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokyogyu/pseuds/tokyogyu
Summary: It has always been part of Soobin’s after-school routine to camp in the front of the music room, waiting for the choir to finish their daily angelic pieces just to get his fingers press the black and white keys of his school’s grand piano.It was never part of Soobin’s after-school routine to see the perfect human being of a dance club captain, by the door of the music room, with tears rolling down his cheeks.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 49
Kudos: 165





	1. prologue - zéro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)
> 
> 1\. chopin - ballade no. 1 in g minor (https://youtu.be/Zj_psrTUW_w)

Applause.

A burst of euphoria would always hit Soobin whenever he’d hear the hundreds of hands clapping for his grandiose display of notes and melodies. It comes crashing to him like a wave in the shoreline; calming and simply a boost of serotonin. Whenever he’d look around, there would be hundreds of people standing up, yelling “Bravo!” and clapping for him.

Well, not that he remembered much about the feeling of pleasing so many people in a theatre, anyway. That was years ago.

“Ballade Number 1 in G Minor,” he heard somebody say, their clap fading. “My mom used to play that for me. Play Darude - Sandstorm next, hyung.”

Soobin looked at the door of their school’s music room, and saw one of his best friends, Taehyun, leaning on the doorway. His hair was neat (as always), had a bag on his shoulder, and his hands looked like they’ve been clapping for ages (they have been).

Soobin gave a displeased look. “The last time I did that after playing something classical, our music teacher scolded me _publicly_. So no, I don’t think I will.”

Taehyun chuckled, motioning Soobin to get up and go with him. “Come on. Hueningkai’s been patiently waiting in the bakery. He probably already spent ten thousand won on bread.”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

-𝄞-𝄢-

5 PM is probably the busiest hour of the school, if we're not counting school hours. A part of the school would be cramming projects in the library, another would be hanging out by the lane of trees, talking with their friends and laughing, while another part would be having their after-school activities and clubs. It’s a nice sight to see; the peak hours of the school would be around that time.

Soobin was probably the only person who did none of the above, as he’d be in the music room all the time after class.

Taehyun and Soobin always walk together after class to the bakery whenever the younger ones don’t have football practice. Their other friend, Hueningkai, would always go to the bakery just to treat his friends. Soobin never understood why Hueningkai was that nice, but hey, if it means free bread everytime, then he guesses it’s fine.

“I- I like you!” Soobin heard the faint confession somewhere, making him stop walking. When he looked around, he saw a girl standing in front of a bench, handing a gift to a blue-haired boy, who was sitting on the said bench.

“That’s the fourth time this week,” Taehyun suddenly said, joining Soobin to watch the confession scene unfold, making the older jump a little. “And it’s just Tuesday. I feel bad for him, but I kind of wish I were him.”

The boy on the bench looked at the girl’s hands, and back at the girl. He gave the girl the softest and cutest smile, and the only thing Soobin thought of was, _I think she should prepare for his next words._

The boy started, “Look, I-”

“It’s alright! I know you don’t want to date anyone, but I just want to get it off my chest,” the girl said as she put her gift on his lap, “And good luck on your research compet tomorrow, oppa.” She said all in one go, running away as fast as possible.

Soobin wasn’t really the type of person to watch those kinds of stuff, but his best friend _definitely_ was, seeing the big eyes of Taehyun sparkling when the confession ended.

“Anyway! Off to the bakery.” Taehyun said, pulling Soobin away from the blue-haired boy on the bench. _He acted as if the confession didn't happen. What a weirdo._

Soobin’s never-ending random thoughts have started. He thought of the foolish thing that the four people who confessed to the blue-haired guy did. Well, to be fair, Soobin is unfamiliar with the feeling of love, but he knows for a fact that if he did fall for someone so perfect and talented, he wouldn’t dare confess. Imagine being a representative of the school in national competitions, the captain of the most successful school club, and one of the most genuine people you can ever encounter. Not to mention being a whole fucking visual.

Piano pieces aren’t made for everybody. Only people with true skill, control and perfect technique can play certain pieces. If you force yourself onto a piece that you feel like wasn’t made for you, then you shouldn’t even try; it would be a waste of your time, effort, and sometimes, even feelings. At least, that’s what Soobin thinks; whenever he sees the sheet music of a piece and doesn’t feel like he can do it, he drops it even before he starts.

That’s why Soobin thinks that this blue-haired boy, Choi Yeonjun, isn’t somebody that normal people can get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first written piece in a while. so im probably eh with my words. but yeah criticism is always welcome :) stay safe !! :D
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	2. un

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)
> 
> * 1. chopin - étude op. 25 no. 11 (winter wind) (https://youtu.be/gZjdAWgjLx8)  
> 2\. mozart - the marriage of figaro (overture) (https://youtu.be/7L4IA0GSvqA)  
> 3\. mozart - rondo alla turca (turkish march) (https://youtu.be/aeEmGvm7kDk)  
> 4\. mozart - piano sonata no. 17, k.570 (https://youtu.be/6wiQE4LS9No)  
> * 5. badarzewska - the maiden's prayer (https://youtu.be/ReC2W-nhrbI)

“...I’ll see you tomorrow again. Don’t drink water! I mean, cold water.”

Those words were followed by giggles and “Yes, ma’am’s,” along with “Goodbye and thank you, ma’am Melody!”

Those words also woke the six-foot guy sitting beside the door of the music room, head on the bag he was hugging for almost an hour. That sight isn’t normal and pleasing… for most schools. This particular high school sees a sleeping giant by the music room as if it were a “SOLD OUT” tag on the Philly cheesesteak section of the school’s cafeteria whenever it was available: saddening to see and quite normal.

The said six-foot guy rubbed his eyes as the people (previously) occupying the room left, chitchat and laughter echoing across the hallway. Compared to yesterday, no one was looking at him. _Maybe I don’t have dry drool on my face today,_ he thought as he subconsciously stroke the corners of his thin lips.

 _My neck doesn’t hurt today, either._ The boy thought as he put his hands on his neck. He flinched at the contact, as he didn’t feel his skin. Instead, he felt a clothlike texture.

“It’s because one of your _many_ admirers put a neck rest on your neck, Choi Soobin.” The voice of a woman in her mid-thirties was heard, which made Soobin look up. He saw the youthful face of the choir’s adviser and made eye contact with her.

Soobin let out a chuckle at her words. “Why do these admirers never show up? They’d leave me bread or banana milk, but never a single word from them.”

Ma’am Melody shrugged, giving Soobin a teasing look. “I don’t think you should be surprised with the number of gifts you’re getting. Your tunes are practically lullabies for the girlies in the dormitory.”

“Maybe I should play louder songs for them, then. Maybe they’d tell me to play my lullabies again and I’d know who my admirers are once they do.” Soobin joked.

The teacher laughed. “Chopin’s Étude Opus 25, Number 11,” she suggested

“Winter Wind?”

“Yes. They’d think it’s a lullaby at first, but once they hear the next few notes, they’re going to come here and crash the music room door.” Ma’am Melody said. “Though, you’ll be responsible for the repairs. Or ask your admirers to pay for it. All up to you.”

“Sure, ma’am,” Soobin politely said, showing a dimple.

Ma’am Melody looked at her wrist briefly, then looked at Soobin again. “Well, I have to go. Still have, you know, teacher duties after school. Music room’s all yours. Don’t-”

“-forget to lock up, and leave the keys on my desk. Yes, ma’am Melody. Understood.” Soobin finished for her. “Safe travels, ma’am. Have a great afternoon and evening ahead.”

Ma’am Melody smiled before saying her thanks and darting off, the clacking of her heels becoming softer as she got further away from Soobin.

The music teacher’s departure was finally Soobin’s sign to get up. He didn’t even bother dusting himself or his bag; he just sat in front of the beautiful and sleek grand piano, its cover opened and the inner strings showing.

His long fingers started to move, the tips pressing do-re-mi-fa-sol and back as a warm-up, continuing to go up.

As he did, he noticed that the window was left open by the choir. Maybe it was because there was football practice today, and the angelic voices of those who idolized the football team demanded to be heard all the way to the field. Ma’am Melody was the type to tease her students about their crushes, anyway.

The wind wasn’t that strong, but Soobin can hear the leaves of the school’s trees swaying outside. He can hear the shouts of one Kang Taehyun from the field, saying things like, “Nice kick!” or “Fix your positions!” or, the most common, “Kai Kamal Huening, you…” followed by something not-so nice (in not best-friends-since-first-grade standards). _Good thing I can’t run; I don’t think I can survive Taehyun’s constant shouting._ Soobin shivered as his fingers continued to travel. _I’d probably die to Taehyun’s anger before I die from running._

Soobin’s fingers would always have a mind of its own whenever he’d warm-up. While he’s busy thinking of his own shit to do, his hands would just be running like little men with five legs, stepping on similar-looking stones. He’s always thinking of his upcoming deadlines whenever he’d warm-up, but they all fade to gray the moment he plays the first piece that appears in his thoughts.

Today, he decided that the piece he will play is Ma’am Melody’s suggestion: Étude Op. 25, No. 11, also known as Winter Wind.

This piece starts off slow, like a cool, winter wind. Soobin would always hit these notes softly, as if he was caressing a baby’s gentle skin. That’s how he would treat the first few notes of this beautiful composition; a baby, too fragile for this world.

And then, as the last soft notes play, Soobin’s gaze and focus sharpens at the same time, preparing for his favorite part.

A blizzard comes crashing down as Soobin’s right hand furiously runs through the notes from the right side of the piano to the left, his left hand still following the tempo from the soft beginning. His left hand’s organized march so beautifully matched his right hand’s dramatic act of sweeping the entire piano. _If I’m allowed to use all 88 keys of this piano, I might as well make the most out of it and use them all,_ Soobin thought. Maybe that’s what Chopin thought, too. Great minds think alike, they say.

And as Soobin stepped on the sustain pedal one too many times, as Soobin calmly played relatively simple chords with his left hand that heavily contrasted the notes his right hand had to play, as Soobin’s sweat dripped down from his forehead to his chin because of how much pain this godforsaken piece is causing him…

He thought of what his dinner tonight would be. _It’s just 4:42 in the afternoon. I can still think of what to eat within an hour,_ he thought. Maybe he’ll order from McDonald’s tonight instead of cooking a whole meal for him and his two crackheads. _Taehyun wouldn’t mind, right?_

_Ah, fuck. Maybe he would. But, does it matter?_

Soobin chuckled at the thought of Hueningkai defending Soobin’s choice of having fast food for the two youngsters instead of healthy food, all while all hell breaks loose as Taehyun lectures the older why this isn’t good after football practice. This distracted Soobin a bit, as he misses two notes with this stupid right hand of his.

"God, I shouldn’t have played this right off the bat." He told himself.

And he stopped playing.

“Jesus, this piece. Why did I decide to learn this piece? Out of all the pieces in the world, why did God tell me that this piece is for me? Aish, I hate this piece!” Soobin complained to the piano (he likes to think that the piano has its own feelings), pretending to punch it.

Soobin didn’t like the way he played today, either. Try to think of what to feed yourself and your two noisy children while trying to set the mood of the piece. He criticized himself for playing the piano as if there really was a blizzard, giving himself a pinch. _If this was a competition, your dumbass would be out first round._

Even with the hundreds of times Soobin has played Chopin’s well-known piece, his right hand never fails to hurt after one run. The first time he got the tempo right made him cry, as he had to bear the pain trying to give that gorgeously chaotic tune. So, every time he completes the piece or when he makes too many mistakes, he’d stop playing and rest.

“Soobin-hyung! Why did you stop playing? You were doing so well!” He heard a loud voice coming from the still open window, showing the beautiful blue sky and the clouds that seemed like cotton. Just from the first word of the loud shout, he knew who the source was.

“Hueningkai, I said take a break, not lose even more of your energy by trying to tell off Soobin-hyung!” Soobin heard another loud voice, which got louder with the next sentence. “But please play something like The Marriage of Figaro or Alla Turca! That last piece is kind of intense, you know, Soobin-hyung! But great playing, anyway!”

Soobin giggled, leaving the piano’s chair to look outside of the window to see his two friends looking at his direction. The moment they saw Soobin’s fluffy brown hair pop out of the second floor window, they waved frantically.

“Thanks for the feedback and suggestions! I will keep those in mind!” Soobin shouted, giving the two a thumbs up. The two responded by giving him finger hearts and a synchronized “Do your best!” (and after that, Taehyun bonked Hueningkai’s head with his fist. _Hard._ )

The short but sweet interaction between him and his friends made Soobin’s heart flutter a bit. But of course, being the melodramatic fuck he is, he would never tell that to them.

Soobin wasn’t lying when he said he’d keep Taehyun’s suggestions in mind, so he played the more upbeat pieces, like Mozart’s Marriage of Figaro and Turkish March. Those two compositions have stuck with him ever since fourth grade, as they were two of Taehyun’s favorite pieces. That was the way they met, anyway; Taehyun would always pay Soobin food in exchange for thirty minutes of Taehyun’s favorite pieces played in a loop.

Soobin’s surprised that Taehyun still likes those pieces.

Soobin continued to play the more upbeat Mozart pieces, along with some modern songs, like a piano cover of Sweatshirt (with a booing crowd) and TWICE’s Likey. Soobin is fueled by three things: the piano, his friends and girl groups. Not because he simps for them, but because he genuinely enjoys their cutesy music. If one takes a peek at his playlist, you’d see that they’re full of Red Velvet and TWICE. Not that anyone judges him, or anything. In fact, Hueningkai finds it really adorable.

He checked the time for the first time after finishing Mozart’s Piano Sonata No. 17, and the digital watch said that it was already 5:53 in the afternoon.

“God, it’s almost 6. Last piece.” Soobin said to himself.

Bardazewska’s The Maiden’s Prayer.

As far as Soobin remembers, this is the first time he played this piece in the music room in two years. He always played this inside his dorm to lure Taehyun to sleep, or just to practice. It just occurred to him that he has never played this piece in a grand piano for quite a while. It’s a sort of, you know, change.

The beautiful beginning of the piece has always hurt Soobin’s fingers as a kid. Since the piece always contains notes that needed to be played with a higher octave, his little hands couldn’t handle it until he was able to reach far.

The composition has always been nostalgic for Soobin. It wasn’t anything special; he couldn’t get a memory from this piece, yet it remains so… reminiscent. There was something in the soft tune that’s being longed to be remembered, but there was absolutely nothing to retrieve from Soobin’s memory bank. He couldn’t remember a single event, person, anything from this piece. It was always just nostalgic. (and as far as Soobin knows, he doesn’t have any memory loss-related diagnosis.)

Soobin could not tell what makes this piece so beautiful, either. Maybe it was the accompaniment of the left hand as the right hand creates the harmony? Or maybe it was the softness of the piece, but some parts were so sharp that not even words can describe what makes it so? Maybe the patterns, how they sounded so alike, but they were so different from one another?

The Maiden’s Prayer has always been inexplicably beautiful to Soobin.

By the time Soobin had finished the piece, he felt calm, alive, refreshed. The smile that he had when he started playing has never left, and he felt like he could do anything after that. _This is good. I should start my chemistry homework while the drive is still there._

_Sniff._

Hearing the sniff made Soobin straighten then frantically look around the room.

Then, by the doorway, he saw the same blue-haired boy from the bench, this time wearing a baggy sweatshirt and sweatpants. He was standing still, the light from outside the window shining his perfect and smooth face; his eyes were sparkling as if they were stolen stars and his tears were like shooting stars, leaving a trail on his face.

Soobin’s eyes widened. Both because of shock, as this is the first time he saw someone cry over his way of playing the piano, and because the boy crying to his piece was the pride of the school, Choi Yeonjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh im no piano expert i just play it for fun but :") i did research :DD
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	3. deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)
> 
> * 1. beethoven - moonlight sonata, 3rd movement (https://youtu.be/BV7RkEL6oRc)

Usually, whenever Soobin would play the piano with the music room’s door open, the students would just pass by. Maybe it’s because they’re used to the beautiful melodies he has played, or maybe they’re just sick of it (which would be sad; Soobin would actually feel bad if that were the case). Maybe they only treat his music as if it was just for the background; like what ma’am Melody said. His melodies should just be lullabies for anybody who is able to hear it.

But today, somebody stopped for a while. Soobin isn’t sure why they stopped to listen, find the source, and end up having tears cascading down their face.

And it confused him even more that it was the untouchable ace of their school crying to Soobin’s work.

The moment Soobin locked eyes with Yeonjun, the elder used his sweater paws to wipe his face. “Hi, sorry about that. Damn, this is kind of awkward.”

Soobin still didn’t know what to say. It flattered him that someone actually stopped by to listen; the little speck of happiness it gave meant a lot to Soobin. He didn’t mind when people don’t pay attention, but it gave him a little bit of motivation to work harder knowing that someone actually wanted to hear more. The guy even cried, for fuck’s sake. And it wasn’t an ordinary guy who stopped to cry: the epitome of perfection cried for him.

He doesn’t know which part of that whole block of sentences made his heart flutter.

“Uh, are you okay?” Soobin awkwardly asked, suddenly getting the urge to comfort him. “Do you need tissue or water?”

Yeonjun laughed a bit. “Yes, I’m fine, and no, I don’t need anything. Your piece was just really, really beautiful. Aish, sorry for disturbing you. Please continue playing; I’ll listen.” The blue-haired guy said as he wiped his eyes once more.

“Oh, actually, I’m done. That was supposedly my last piece of the day.” Soobin sheepishly said. “Thank you.”

Yeonjun’s face clouded with confusion. “Thank you? What?”

“For stopping by.” Soobin softly said, smiling at Yeonjun.

Maybe it was the lighting or maybe Soobin was seeing things, but he saw Yeonjun’s cheeks turn pink.

“Well, you know,” Yeonjun started, scratching his neck. “I don’t think I can let go of perfection. It would be a shame if it was left unseen and unrecognized, so the least I can do was listen. Besides, I really felt every bit of emotion you poured into that piece.”

It was Soobin’s turn to blush. “Well, I- uh, I didn’t really, well… yeah, thank you.”

_And you still decided to talk. Good job, Soobin._

Yeonjun chuckled. “There are also things that I remembered when you played that piece. I can’t recall the title, but thank you for reminding me and helping me unlock even more happy memories.” He said, smiling at Soobin.

Those words did not help lower Soobin’s face temperature at all.

“Well, um, no problem, I guess. Uh, I didn’t mean to. But I’m glad I got to help in the tiniest and most unintentional… way. Yeah.” Soobin managed to stutter out.

The two of them stayed in silence for a while. Soobin remained in his seat, while Yeonjun was going closer and closer to the piano until he was standing beside Soobin.

Soobin can smell vanilla, one of his least favorite scents. Vanilla has always been too cliché and romantic for Soobin. Maybe he’s just being bitter that he has never dated, but the vanilla that Yeonjun was wearing is intoxicating. Of course, no one in the right mind would make that obvious, so Soobin just enjoyed the scent without having to obsess over it.

“Hey,” Yeonjun started. Soobin, who was thinking about his scent, looked up and saw a beautiful pair of brown eyes, twinkling brighter than the stars at night.

The universe would be such an easy place to get yourself lost in, and that’s exactly what Yeonjun’s eyes portrayed at the moment.

“Hm?” Soobin managed to let out.

Yeonjun returned the gaze that Soobin was giving him: a loving and warm gaze, but a gaze that wants to delve deeper. A gaze that wants to explore; a gaze that wants to see the stars.

And, so softly and honeylike, Yeonjun said, “Play another piece, please.”

Soobin could definitely cannot say no to that request, especially since he’s been bewitched by Yeonjun’s beautiful eyes. Soobin knew that those eyes were telling him that _hey, we’ll shine brighter if you play for him._

Neither of them let go of their gaze — their gentle, warm gaze — until Soobin said, “Okay.”

It took Soobin all of his power to break that eye contact. It was supposed to be easy to break eye contact; hell, Soobin can’t even look at half of his classmates straight in the eye. But for some weird voodoo shit reason, he wants to look at his eyes forever.

Soobin shook his head to snap himself back to reality, positioning his hands once again on top of the monochrome keys. Before he started playing, he took a deep breath, let it out, and smiled at Yeonjun.

“Moonlight Sonata, Movement 3.” Soobin said, his mind more on the piano in front of him than anything. This incredibly difficult piece was like Soobin’s way of seeking thrill when he needed it. His left hand would repeatedly hit the same notes while trying to match the fast speed of his right hand without making noise instead of music. The timing on this piece has to be precise and perfect; there is no room for mistake. If you miss even by a millisecond, the piece would be ruined. It’s like an ice sculpture: it takes so much time and effort to build it up, but once you make a mistake, it will come crashing down.

Soobin has always thought of this piece like a glass. _This piece should be opposite to glass; but it’s treated exactly like one. If you make the slightest mistake, the glass would break._

Soobin decided to only play the first hundred seconds of the piece. Even if he refuses to admit it to himself, he only wanted to play the composition to show it off to Yeonjun, whose eyes sparkled even more.

He has never been this mesmerized because of a pair of eyes.

“That’s all I can play for now. It was-”

“That was so beautiful.” Yeonjun cut him off, his mouth opened. “I felt your excitement through the piece. You enjoyed playing this one, didn’t you?” He asked curiously, even though he knew the answer to it.

“W-what?”

Yeonjun shrugged. “You were smiling the whole time. And the piece was alive. That’s what I mean when I say I feel your emotions through the piano. You can convey your feelings through playing. I find that really cool; it means you’re naturally good at this. You know how there are pianists who are god at what they’re doing? Some of them, though, I find their emotions hard to read. But you… you make it seem so easy. It’s as if playing the piano is your own language.” Yeonjun continued, giving Soobin a soft smile. “I find you really cool.”

Soobin does not know why he’s receiving these words from someone like Yeonjun, but right now, all he wants to do is thank every god for it. Nobody has ever admired Soobin on this level, or shown great pride for him. The words that came out of Yeonjun’s lips made Soobin’s heart explode in so many colors.

“Thank you.” Soobin smiled genuinely. “Thank you so much for loving my craft as much as I do. Thank you.”

Yeonjun only nodded and smiled, his smile as warm and welcoming as his previous ones.

_Choi Soobin, get yourself together._

-𝄞-𝄢-

Soobin and Yeonjun decided to walk to the dorm together. There were still students around the campus, but they were all about to return to their respective residence halls. The students would always seem happy during these times, as they can have small chats with their friends about whatever shenanigans they were up to the whole day.

Awkwardly enough, the two boys had a distance between each other that’s so big, you can fit all of the planets in the Solar System in it. (at least, that’s what Soobin thinks. It’s actually less than a meter.)

Yeonjun was always looking in different directions whenever Soobin would look at him. He also had this cute little thing when his hair would fall, he’d tuck it immediately. Soobin noticed that his nose was cute, and his cheeks were so fluffy, it could be mistaken as mochi.

When the two arrived in their residence hall, they finally had to part ways for the day. The both of them told their goodnight’s and sleep well’s to one another, and had to walk away.

“Wait,” Yeonjun called out.

Soobin looked back quickly, so fast that his neck probably would’ve snapped. They locked eyes, and it took all of Soobin’s remaining energy to say, “Yeah?”

“Will you be there again tomorrow?”

Soobin swore he felt his heart jump out of his chest.

“I’m there everyday, don’t worry.” He replied.

Yeonjun smiled — not the normal no-teeth one, he _smiled_ smiled, as in smiled with his teeth _and_ his eyes. Lines formed on his nose bridge as he did, and his cheeks were a bit higher.

“That’s great to know. Thank you for tonight, master pianist. Goodnight.” Yeonjun cheerfully said, waving a little bit.

Soobin cannot handle this any longer.

“Kthanksbye!” He said hurriedly, running away from the blue-haired boy and zooming past through everybody until he reached his room, lied down with his face on his favorite pillow, and screamed like a dying whale.

Soobin isn’t the type of person to know what he’s truly feeling. Well, of course, he felt flattered. He felt like somebody actually understood whatever he was feeling through the endless notes he played after so many years; why would you not feel a sense of comfort after knowing that somebody gets what you’re trying to convey?

It also motivated him. Somehow, Soobin wanted to get even better at playing. There was someone who took their time just to listen to him and even _converse_ with him. Who, in the right mind, would talk to the guy who sleeps in front of the music room and even give him a beautiful stare right after? _Fuck._

There was also something about Yeonjun crying his eyes out. He felt bad for making him cry, but it was a good thing, right? _It wasn’t a bad thing. He did tell me I did beautifully. Maybe he was just moved so much?_ Soobin thought. If it moved someone that much, then it means Soobin was doing great. And it made him feel all giddy that he received validation from somebody; somebody who is extraordinary.

But there was something else that Soobin felt: he couldn’t describe it. It was like… the feeling of being up in the clouds; the feeling of getting that one limited card in gacha games that you’ve always wanted; the feeling of yearning for something.

Soobin suddenly remembered the scent — _Yeonjun’s_ scent — of vanilla; sweet, aromatic, comforting. There was something from that scent that made it so addicting, even though he has always been bitter about it. And those eyes. God, they were so pretty that the night sky outside of Soobin’s window could never compare to the universe inside Yeonjun’s eyes.

_I don’t think I can let go of perfection._

_Play another piece, please._

_I find that really cool; it means you’re naturally good at this. I find you really cool._

And that feeling — whatever the fuck that feeling was — was making his heart pound loudly.

“Hyung?” He heard Hueningkai ask, bringing him back to reality.

“What?” Soobin replied, lifting his head to face the younger.

“Did you get dinner?”

Soobin buried his face on his pillow, lowkey highkey disappointed with what Hueningkai asked. Well, Soobin didn’t, but that wasn’t the point.

“Hueningkai, I love you, but can’t you see that I am currently in panic?”

Hueningkai sounded alarmed. _He probably finally understood that I was in some kind of crisis._ “Panic?! Hyung, what kind of panic? Are you okay? Hyung?”

Soobin groaned on his pillow again.

_I'm screwed._

“There’s this feeling I’m feeling. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m lowkey terrified even if it feels so good, Kai.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been receiving nice comments about this fanfic. thank you so much! they really motivate me to do better<3 please tell me if i have anything to improve on :DD
> 
> (also i lowkey started this fanfic just for the first chapter LMAO it was the prompt my genius mind gave me)
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	4. trois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)  
> * 1. debussy - clair de lune (https://youtu.be/XkgyOZxIw0k)
> 
> time stamps of the piece that i'm attempting to describe  
> \+ 2:15 : end of the introduction; start of the build-up toward the climax  
> \+ 2:52 : climax  
> \+ 3:29 : ending  
> \+ 5:00 : trip down the memory lane

“Soobin-hyung, you look so dead inside.”

Soobin, whose head was buried in his arms on top of his desk, didn’t bother responding with words; instead, he loudly groaned, not caring if his classmates heard. He knew that Taehyun came to fetch him — well, more like drag his ass to the cafeteria — to go and eat lunch.

Advanced mathematics just finished, and Soobin was beyond bummed. _The calculator was invented to solve math problems for us, so why not utilize it?_ Soobin would always think after class. _This class isn’t it._

Soobin felt Taehyun nudge his arm. “Soobin-hyung, you’re embarrassing. Why would you allow someone a whole year below you to babysit you?” Taehyun whined.

The elder groaned once more.

Even though he wasn’t looking, Soobin was sure Taehyun was giving him _that_ disappointed look with _that_ disappointing sigh. Soobin was so used to receiving that, that sometimes, he sees it in his nightmares when he does something incredibly stupid.

“If you get up from your seat, I’ll- uh, let you borrow my headphones. Yes, the new ones. For a day.” Taehyun attempted to bribe the older, but to no avail. Taehyun was sure Soobin would agree (simply because Taehyun’s model was being used by Soobin’s favorite League player) but sometimes, Taehyun can be wrong, too.

Taehyun sighed once again. “Hueningkai got you two cheesesteaks.”

Soobin shot up from his seat and grabbed both his bag and Taehyun’s wrist, the younger bowing and saying his apologies to his seniors, because their fellow classmate was embarrassing and kind of being stupid right now. Soobin led Taehyun to the cafeteria, passing by chattering students and teachers scolding rascals, going down the stairs, and hand still gripping the younger’s wrist.

When Soobin walked in the cafeteria, the first thing he searched for was the floof ball of brown hair of a certain sunshine. It didn’t take long for him to spot him, and once he did, he pulled Taehyun towards the corner of the room with him, where Hueningkai was.

“Aish, this hyung,” Taehyun said as he sat beside Hueningkai, who was listening intently. “I was supposed to drag his ass to you, but he ended up dragging _me_ instead.”

“Where’s the cheesesteaks?” Soobin asked, ignoring Taehyun completely and slamming the table with his hands, making the youngest jump a bit from his seat.

“Jeez, hyung, not even a 'Hello to the best person in the world,'” Hueningkai feigned hurt as he pulled two white bags from his blue bag. He handed them delicately to Soobin, who just opened the two bags and ate loudly. The other two were just looking at him; they gave him a face of both disgust and concern.

“Are you okay, hyung?” Hueningkai asked, genuine concern in each of his words. “You slept early last night, saying you were panicked and stuff and you didn’t even walk with Taehyunnie and me. Do you hate us? Be honest.”

Soobin stopped eating briefly to look at Hueningkai dead in the eyes. “No, I don’t hate you guys. A lot of stuff are happening, you know?” He said, going back to his cheesesteak.

Taehyun and Hueningkai shared a look, obviously concerned for their older friend.

“Like, what stuff?” Taehyun asked.

Soobin shrugged, still munching on his food. “You know, stuff.” He said, pausing for a while to think. “Piano stuff. Yeah.”

“You hesitated.” Hueningkai said as soon as Soobin finished his words. He eyed Soobin as if the latter was saying something weird as he crossed his arms. “Suspicious. _Very_ suspicious.”

“Did you hear? Yeonjun perfected the Math midterms again.” The three friends heard from the table beside them. “The guy really knows his shit. The second highest in our batch was 35/40. Man’s crazy.”

Soobin, upon hearing this, slammed his forehead on the cafeteria table. “Motherfucker.” He whispered softly, but not so soft that the two boys in front of him couldn’t hear it.

Taehyun and Hueningkai finally picked up what was going on after hearing what Soobin said. The irregular sleeping time, the sudden panic last night, the late wake-up time, the depression before going to the cafeteria, the hesitation before speaking, the slamming-your-head-on-the-table-after-hearing-something fiasco…

It only meant one thing.

The two 11th graders looked at each other once more, thinking that they connected the dots through mind-to-mind communication. Taehyun briefly looked at Soobin while facing Hueningkai, signalling the younger to ask _the question_ to him.

Hueningkai rolled his eyes before moving his body so that could face the seemingly depressed Soobin, breathed in and out deeply, and asked, “Hyung, did you confess to somebody recently?”

Soobin shot up at those words, eyes wider than before. “W-what? No! What makes you think that?” He asked, shocked with the youngest’s question. _Hueningkai should know more than anyone that I am emotionally incapable of falling in love._

“He stuttered.” Hueningkai said. “ _Very_ suspicious, hyung. _Very_.”

“I stutter all the time! D-do you know how when somebody asks you a question that you totally did not expect? It’s exactly that!” Soobin defended, eyes wide open the whole time he was speaking.

Taehyun continued to eye him suspiciously. “Do you know how people get frustrated and stuff when they first fall in love?”

“No. I’ve never fallen in love.” Soobin deadpanned.

“And that’s exactly why you have fallen in love this time!” Taehyun exclaimed louder than he thought, making the table beside them (and a few others) look at the big-eyed guy.

Soobin hid his face with his two cheesesteaks as he internally screamed, unable to bear the feeling of second-hand embarrassment. (if you think about it, it was technically first-hand, as they were talking about him and his non-existent lovelife, anyway.)

“Guys,” Soobin tried to start.

Taehyun gave the eldest another look, which cut off whatever Soobin was about to say. “Hyung, if you were in love, you could’ve told us. C’mon, Kai and I are like, I don’t know, _the_ best love experts of this school. Look at how our lives are going! We’re both doing great!”

“Tyunnie, I’m asexual and you have a crush on someone who has _never_ interacted with you, except for that one time when they told you that your hair looked neat.”

“And we’re both great love experts!” Taehyun said, tilting his head dramatically to face Hueningkai. “Does it matter if you’re asexual and I’m stuck in an unrequited love trope?”

“Okay, guys, I appreciate it, but-” Soobin tried to start, again.

“Why would two people who have absolutely _zero_ experience in love suddenly be the school’s best love experts? Tyunnie, I love you, but there are some things that you should delete from your head forever.” Hueningkai said before Soobin got to continue.

“Do you need to be a professional pianist to give piano advice to newbies?”

“Yes! I don’t even play the piano, but of course!”

“You just said it. You don’t even play the piano. Why do you have a say in this?”

“Do you have absolutely no idea how hard you’re contradicting yourself right now?”

Soobin sighed as the two continued their zero braincelled conversation, digging his bag to get the folded sheet of paper that he never wanted to see ever again. (but, unfortunately, since the two kids won’t stop fighting, he had to face it once more.)

Soobin passed the paper across the table for the two to notice, still on their incredibly meaningless conversation. When Hueningkai noticed it, he looked at Taehyun, back to the paper, and at Soobin, whose eyes were screaming ‘please understand first.’

Hueningkai felt a chill in his spine, and so did Taehyun when he met Soobin’s intimidating stare and crossed arms.

When the both of them read the contents of the paper, they looked at the eldest, back to the paper, and to the eldest, who was munching on his sandwich once more.

“So that’s why he looked so dead after mathematics,” Taehyun started, finally understanding what was going on.

“That’s why he overslept,” Hueningkai said afterwards, realization hitting him as well.

The two looked at each other. “That’s why he felt bad upon hearing the news about someone topping the midterms.”

Soobin facepalmed. “You guys really should know the context first and not start boasting about being the not-so best love experts in the world.”

“We’re sorry, hyung.” Hueningkai started, bowing his head in shame. Taehyun followed shortly after, face and ears red.

Soobin smiled, giving the two a head pat, his left on Taehyun’s head, the right on Hueningkai’s. “It’s alright. You guys got me a sandwich. That helped a little bit, even though it wasn’t two more points in the midterms to make it to the passing grade.” He said, going back to eat his cheesesteaks.

“You know, for a second there, we thought you had a crush on Yeonjun-hyung.” Hueningkai started, trying to change the topic for Soobin.

Soobin felt his world stop, dropping his sandwich. “C-c-crush? On who now? Yeonjun? As in Choi Yeonjun? Are you sure? What makes you think that?”

Taehyun and Hueningkai, who have already learned their lesson, did not want to delve deeper into Soobin’s reaction and simultaneously said, “Nevermind, hyung.”

-𝄞-𝄢-

The music room’s window was left closed today, so Soobin had to open it himself for the fresh breeze to circle around the room. For some reason, the music room felt much more cramped than before, so a little bit of real, authentic air can change that.

Soobin positioned his hands on top of the piano, and started to play one of Debussy’s most well-known pieces, Clair de Lune.

The piece starts off slow, like you’re about to enter a dream. The simple chords played by the song are enough to lure you to a warm slumber; as if the moon’s light is there to embrace you and sing you to sleep. Soobin always makes sure to play this song as if a baby was listening to it, because the spell of slumber would be broken if it was played a bit too loudly. Plus, Soobin does not want to hear a crying baby. That’s his main motivation to keep this piece playing in a slow and soft tune.

But then, Soobin remembered that he flunked his math midterms.

“Aish, was it really necessary for me to remember?” Soobin cried to himself, still playing the piece. This was actually the first time he failed a midterm this year, and has always ended up with a decent score even with little to no review. But, for once, Soobin said _fuck it, I want a perfect grade,_ and put in quite a huge amount of effort on this one.

Who would want to know that their hard work was for nothing?

 _Maybe putting in effort makes results worse?_ Soobin thought. _No, Taehyun has never put in effort with getting to hang out with his crush and has not made any progress at all._

Soobin felt extremely heartbroken that it was the only time he put in a lot of time in studying, but ended up failing instead of passing, like he expected to. This kind of heartbreak is different from those kinds where your bias for Produce 101 has to go, or the kind where your favorite flavor of Melona is sold out.

“The piece wasn’t supposed to be _this_ sad, right?”

Soobin stopped playing as soon as he heard those words, and turned his head to find Yeonjun standing by the doorway. Soobin felt his heart beat, happy that Yeonjun was there most likely because he’s there to listen. Thinking of that made Soobin feel things filling his stomach, but he was unsure of what it was. ( _Butterflies? They felt like butterflies._ )

“Oh, uh, hi there.” Soobin said sheepishly, feeling himself get smaller and smaller.

“Hi.” Yeonjun replied, a hand up. “Clair de Lune was supposed to be something like a lullaby, right? Why does it sound like somebody died?”

Soobin gave him a look of confusion. “Died? What?”

“No, like, you know. Well, the most obvious thing is that you played it slow. Like, I’ve listened to that piece before, so I can tell, yeah, the thing- tempo, yes. It was slow.” Yeonjun said, for some reason, nervously. “And, you know, your emotions are practically pouring all over the place. The piece sounded sad. I feel like it would still sound sad even if the tempo wasn’t changed at all.”

Soobin didn’t know what to say except, “Oh.”

There was silence between them again. Soobin can’t call it uncomfortable, but it wasn’t really a tight hug kind of silence, either. It was just deafening silence.

Until Yeonjun asked, “Are you okay?”

When those words reached Soobin’s ears, he instinctively looked up and met the older boy’s eyes. Soobin felt like the surroundings lit up by a little bit; like Christmas lights when the clock strikes twelve. Maybe it was because someone like Yeonjun was asking him something like that. He’s unsure if Yeonjun was actually being concerned or he’s asking just for fun.

If it isn’t that obvious yet, Soobin was extremely bad at reading the tone in people’s words. He was even worse at reading the emotion plastered on someone’s poker face. Due to that, he concluded that Yeonjun’s reason was the latter.

“Yeah.” Soobin replied. “I guess.”

“Your way of playing says otherwise.”

Soobin’s heart, yet again, beat loudly. _Soobin, he’s asking just for fun._

“Well, I don’t know. I guess I’m just distracted? It doesn’t really matter.” Soobin replied, looking down as he showed his dimple.

Yeonjun only looked at the taller boy, unsure of what to say. His face was still unreadable, so he just said, “Alright.”

And that silence was back. Again.

Soobin felt something tugging his heart. He remained unsure of what Yeonjun was trying to tell him or anything. Plus, Yeonjun may be part of the reason why Soobin is kind of feeling down right now, so he didn’t want the older to feel worse.

So Soobin continued playing his piece, but tried to put less emotions in it, and added more technique on how this composition was supposed to be played.

Yeonjun, just like the day before, was still mesmerized by Soobin's beautiful playing. The introduction of the piece was about to come to a close, which means the more fiery part of the piece was about to come up. Yeonjun knew that Soobin would continue to make it sound like a dream, but the dream was building up to reach its climax.

Yeonjun is never wrong, and that proved it when Soobin started to yearn for the dramatic part of the piece.

Soobin’s hands were playing much faster compared to earlier. If the beginning of the piece was getting on a boat as the moonlight shone, this piece is the part where he starts to travel along the river, with frogs croaking and birds flying around the midnight blue sky. He visualized the wind getting stronger and the birds chirping louder the closer the song gets to its peak. The louder Soobin has to play, the more beautiful his scenery in the moonlit lake becomes.

When Soobin started to play the long-awaited climax, he felt more at ease, but more focused at the same time. In the vision in his mind, the breeze becomes cooler, and the boat rows faster as he travels with the wind going around him. The stars appear to be twinkling even more, and the light that the moon has been emitting becomes much brighter. He can hear the birds chirping to the piece as it gets more intense, and the branches of the trees crashing into one another. The whole scene was building itself, and overall, it was becoming more colorful and more alive, just like how the piece is becoming more exquisite the more it puts the notes together.

Soobin reaches the concluding part of the composition, reverting back to the calm scenery he started off with, like how he went back to the beginning of the piece’s notes. This time, it felt much more magical than the beginning of the piece; the birds, the trees and the frogs were once again at peace, like they used up all their energy into making the marvelous display in the climax. _They are sleeping,_ that’s what the piece was trying to say. He saw himself get off the boat, finally reaching the end of the river.

Soobin was about to finish the piece. He played the beginning of the build-up once again, as if he was reminiscing the climax of the composition. The notes were calmer compared to the ones earlier, and they seemed like a distant memory as Soobin looked at the lake. Finally, the piece ends with one final sweep across the piano, with Soobin walking away from the grand moonlit river.

That’s how he always visualizes Debussy’s iconic piece whenever he has the chance to play it.

Soobin carefully turned his head around, eager to see Yeonjun’s reaction to this piece. He saw the older clapping his hands softly, his eyes wide and his jaw dropped, as if gravity was pulling his chin. The elder walked towards the Soobin, still clapping and his face showed that he was still astonished.

“I have never heard somebody play that piece as beautifully as you did.” Yeonjun said softly.

Yeonjun only told him that three times, and his heart still picks up the pace and his temperature feels like it’s growing tenfold.

“Hyung!” Soobin heard someone scream, making him bend to the side, looking at the doorway. “That was so good!”

Two heads, both brown, suddenly popped out of the doorway’s frame.

“Yeah, hyung, you’ve outdone your…” Taehyun started, but trailed off when he saw someone else in the room; somebody with blue hair.

Yeonjun turned around to face the entrance of the room and made eye contact with Taehyun, then Hueningkai.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so far, out of all of the pieces i've described, the only one i've actually played was clair de lune. whatever soobin was visualizing was my own take on what i see whenever i play the composition.
> 
> to all moas, please continue voting and streaming for more blue hour wins! and to my supporters, thank you so much ^^ it means so much to me and it really, really makes me happier.
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	5. quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)  
> 1\. radwimps - sparkle  
> * + piano - https://youtu.be/DjMkfARvGE8  
> \+ song - https://open.spotify.com/track/1HNvADmPBGAExeyIHkcJtd?si=7sh3BeAFTv2LSUK1cKLu0g

“So, uh,” Yeonjun started, confused as there are three faces in front of him at his own cafeteria table. “What brings all of you here?”

Hueningkai, with a huge smile on his face, said, “Since you’re _friends_ with our Soobinnie-hyung, you’re obligated to be Tyunnie’s and my friend, too! Which means that the four of us will start eating lunch together.”

“Four?” Yeonjun asked. “Well-” he tried to speak.

“Do you have any objections, Yeonjun-hyung?” Taehyun began, cutting him off.

“Well, no, but-” Yeonjun tried to say again, but then…

“Alright! It’s settled then. The four of us are officially besties for life.” Hueningkai cheerfully said before eating his lunch, a bento box full of Japanese food.

Yeonjun was still kind of shocked that this was happening (and so suddenly, too), and when he looked at Soobin, the taller boy was giving apologetic looks and was bowing at approximately 10 bows per second.

Yeonjun recollected the memories of last night that led to this new friendship circle he formed unknowingly.

-𝄞-𝄢-

“Yeah, hyung you’ve outdone your…” Taehyun said before trailing off, as he saw somebody else that wasn’t his Soobin-hyung. “...um, hello?”

Yeonjun, who wasn’t fazed at all, said, “Hi there.” He smiled at Taehyun, and looked at Hueningkai and also gave him a warm smile. The youngest forced a smile and a bow, not expecting this at all.

Taehyun cleared his throat. “Well, uh,” Taehyun started, pinching Hueningkai’s side as he did so. Hueningkai knew it was for the best if he didn’t let out a sound, and saw that as an opportunity to get out of the door’s frame. “We’ll, well, be right back. Sorry for interrupting you guys or anything,” Taehyun said, nervously chuckling. “Carry on, please.”

The two 11th graders hurriedly went away from the music room, and Yeonjun and Soobin were alone together in the music room once more.

_They’re so lucky that Yeonjun was in the room._

There was a brief moment of silence until Yeonjun suddenly commented, “Your friends seem nice.” He smiled at the doorway, where Soobin’s friends previously were, then back to Soobin. “They’re the cool type.”

Soobin, taken aback by this, replied, “Oh, uh, yeah. They are. They’re like my support system when times are hard, you know? They’re amazing, but I’ll never tell them that.” He beamed brightly, meeting Yeonjun’s beautiful eyes.

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

Soobin gave him a toothy smile, his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up adorably. “Because they’re idiots.”

Maybe it was the lighting of the room again, but Yeonjun’s cheeks matched the color of roses.

“Oh, yeah, well, I-I get that.” Yeonjun said shyly, scratching his neck and looking at everything in the room that isn’t Soobin.

Soobin noticed that Yeonjun was avoiding to face him. He stroke his face subconsciously and thought, _is there anything on my face? Yeonjun was definitely the type of person to say something like that, but he didn’t. Does he hate me? Fuck. I need a new topic._

“What about you? Do you have friends?” Soobin asked.

Soobin immediately recognized his fault the moment the last words left his lips. _Choi Soobin, what kind of question is that? Are you stupid?_

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” Soobin started (as if he was mumble-rapping), “I didn’t mean to make it come out like that. Like, I know you’re friendly and all, but I’m just curious if there’s someone you lean on or something. Like, you know, a friend? Aish, I don’t think I’m making it any better-”

“Yes, I do, don’t worry.” Yeonjun replied in the softest and most reassuring voice. “He’s currently away for some kind of overseas competition. He’ll be back soon, though.”

Soobin tried to think of anybody in their batch who’s currently out of the country, but gave up eventually. “Oh, alright. Must be nice being friends with smart people. My friends have no brain cells.” Soobin said, huffing and puffing his cheeks.

Yeonjun only let out a giggle, and his left hand reached out to pinch Soobin’s puffed cheeks.

“You’re really cute.” Yeonjun said as if he was adoring Soobin, continuing to giggle and to pinch the younger’s cheeks.

Nobody has ever called him that.

Soobin felt the time stop at that very moment. He looked at Yeonjun, whose face was all cutesy and tiny. We all know that Soobin was terrible at reading faces, but he knew that Yeonjun’s face was saying something like _You’re so adorable,_ and there was something about that that tells Soobin that Yeonjun wasn’t lying; he really meant it.

 _You’re really cute._ That simple three-worded sentence continued to echo in Soobin’s head, like a loud horn playing in a huge cave.

Soobin did not know what to do (aside from feel his heart thump and feel his cheeks go warm), but he giggled with Yeonjun, who was still squishing his cheeks like there’s no tomorrow.

Neither Soobin nor Yeonjun noticed that while they were having their squishy fun times in the dark music room, two very confused and amazed 11th graders were looking at each other with an evil grin on their angelic faces.

-𝄞-𝄢-

“Okay then, friends.” Yeonjun smiled genuinely.

Taehyun and Hueningkai seemed absolutely delighted with Yeonjun’s response, while Soobin looked like he just witnessed the second coming of Christ himself.

“But, uh, Yeonjun-hyung,” Hueningkai said in a hushed tone, leaning in closer to the eldest.

“Yeah?”

Hueningkai used his eyes to gesture around the cafeteria, as all eyes were on them and everyone seemed like they were gossiping about something. “Is this what you feel like on a daily basis?”

Yeonjun looked around the room, and every person he made eye contact with either looked away and continued to eat their lunch, or giggled giddily like the high schoolers they are and talked to their friends excitedly. 

“Uh, yeah, pretty much.” Yeonjun shrugged. “This is what I go through most of the time, basically. It’s hard being handsome, you know.” He said, forming a check with his fingers and putting under his chin, wiggling his eyebrows.

Taehyun and Hueningkai looked at him in disgust. “I didn’t know you were narcissistic, hyung.” Hueningkai disappointingly said, sitting up straight again and continuing to eat his food.

“Took the words straight out of my mouth.” Taehyun said, sticking his tongue out to Yeonjun.

“W-what?” Yeonjun said in panic. “It’s true though! At least, that’s what everyone has been telling me!” He cleared his throat, ready to mimic a girl's voice, “ _Yeonjun-oppa, you’re so handsome, especially when you dance! Ah, Yeonjun-oppa, good luck on your debate competition! Yeonjun-oppa, do you want to-_ ”

“Aish! We get it, we get it!” Taehyun said, covering his ears and closing his eyes. “We get it!”

“Alright, sorry! I get it that you get it!” Yeonjun retaliated, his loudness matching Taehyun’s.

“You two are so loud.” Hueningkai commented, pouting as he shook his head disapprovingly.

“You’re probably twice as loud as us, Kai.” Taehyun replied cold-heartedly.

Hueningkai, with an offended look, gasped. He dramatically put his hands up and sighed, rubbing his temples as he said with the most polite tune you’ve ever heard, “Alright, listen up, Taehyunnie...”

Soobin, though it made him happy that they have Yeonjun officially part of their circle, was kind of embarrassed that he’s the only person in this table that has a fucking brain cell. But, he loves them all anyway; he’d rather never see BTS live than admit that he loves and treasures them so, very much.

While Soobin was busy thinking of his friends being all happy, he did not notice the older Choi looking at him fondly, his cheek sitting on his right hand, and chuckling to himself.

-𝄞-𝄢-

One of the first movies that made Soobin cry was the well-known anime film Your Name. Hueningkai invited Taehyun and Soobin to watch it in the cinemas with him, and the three ended up crying so hard that they could be the next Niagara Falls.

There was one thing he loved more than the story line, and it was the original soundtrack of the movie. He adored it so much that he learned the popular songs of the OST, and played them nonstop for two months after the three friends watched it. At one point of his life, he refused to play any other song that isn’t Radwimps’ Sparkle. (that saddened ma’am Melody, because she preferred it when Soobin would play different songs. This made Soobin go back to his old ways of playing every other song and composition.)

Soobin positioned his hands on the fifth octave, and started to play the magical introduction of Sparkle.

The song starts off with a piano solo, which is why Soobin loves playing this song from the soundtrack more than anything. He fancies the effect of the repetitive three notes — B, C sharp and F sharp — as they really make the piece twinkle, shine, sparkle; like the dazzling night sky. Soobin plays this part softly, so that it could match whatever he thinks sparkling stars sound like. The moment the bass starts playing, the piece seems even more magical than before; like there’s something that’s about to lift you to reach the night sky's stars.

For thirty seconds, Soobin plays the same pattern. He saw himself get closer and closer to the night sky -- the twinkling stars shining on the dark blue canvas of a sky. The part where the vocalist is about to sing is coming up, so Soobin will be adding in the melody of the song, too. Soobin never had anybody sing the song for him, so he decided that he’ll play the song’s melody.

When he was about to ready the melody, he heard somebody sing in Japanese.

“ _Caught in a never-ending game,_ ”

Soobin’s fingers stopped itself, and when it did, he looked at the direction of the source and found a familiar mop of blue hair leaning on the music room’s doorway.

“Y-Yeonjun,” Soobin stuttered, his hands still on top of the piano.

Yeonjun raised an eyebrow, confusion spreading throughout his pretty face. “Hm? Why’d you stop?”

“I don’t know, why would I _not_ stop when somebody starts singing the piece I’m playing? I always play the singing part with the accompaniment.” Soobin countered, giving a ‘bruh moment’ face.

Yeonjun opened his mouth to speak, his hands on his hips, but he closed it immediately when he did not know what to reply to Soobin’s words. “Aish.” Yeonjun laughed a bit. “Touché.”

Soobin chuckled at Yeonjun, and the older returned it to him like a mirror. “So, you sing, too.”

Yeonjun gave him a toothy grin. “Of course! I’ve been singing longer than I’ve been dancing.” He said, giving a thumbs up.

“And in Japanese, too.”

“Oh, I only know the lyrics of it because I memorized it by head.” The older said, tapping his skull. “Been in love with that song for ages. It’s in all of my playlists, from sleep to dance to even bath music.”

“I don’t think I needed to hear that,” Soobin replied, pretending not to look at Yeonjun. “How’d you know the song?”

“The love of my life told me to watch Your Name.” Yeonjun answered nonchalantly, looking outside the opened music room window.

Soobin choked on the air he was breathing when he heard those words.

“T-the love of your life?!” Soobin said, hitting his chest with the side of his fist. “What?”

_I thought he wasn’t dating anyone! Why’d he have to lie to those poor girls who confess to him every other day? What’s going on? Since when did he have a love of his life? A love of his life? Why would he have one?_

Soobin did not want to think anymore after hearing the words the love of my life. He was angry for the women that Yeonjun lied to. In fact, he felt his heart drop for them; like a ball dropped from the hundredth floor of some skyscraper. _Why does my heart feel so heavy for these girls that I do not know?_

_And he had the audacity to touch my cheeks, too! Called me cute and things that made my stomach tingle! If I were that love of his life, I would’ve broken up with him! Why would he squish my cheeks like that? Wh-_

“Soobin?” Yeonjun said softly, breaking the younger boy from his reverie.

Soobin felt the world stop when he heard his name get called. He looked at Yeonjun, lips parted. “That’s the first time you called me by my name.”

Yeonjun chuckled at Soobin’s realization. “Are you jealous?”

“H-huh? Jealous? Of what?” Soobin said his thoughts loudly (he didn't even want to say them). “Jealous? Why would I be jealous? I have nothing to be jealous of.”

Yeonjun walked closer to the pianist, leaned in a bit, and squished Soobin’s cheeks for a second. “Really? Why are your eyebrows furrowed like that?”

Soobin didn’t even realize that there was tension between his eyebrows, and relaxed them quickly. “No, they aren’t.”

“They were,”

“Nope.”

“They were, though.”

“Nuh-uh.”

In a split second, Yeonjun leaned in so close, that his nose and Soobin’s can feel each other’s ghost-like presence. Due to this sudden close-up of Yeonjun’s face, Soobin let out a gasp.

Yeonjun seemed like he studied Soobin’s features for a few seconds, and proceeded to smirk.

“Ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad.” Yeonjun taunted, his eyes sparkling in mischief.

Soobin felt so many things in that approximately five seconds of viewing Yeonjun’s face that close. His heart was beating as if he just completed a one-mile run, his hands were frozen in place, and his temperature… God, his temperature can’t be cooled down even if he were to be put in a freezer.

Soobin decided that _this_ was not good for his heart. He did not know what part of that wasn’t healthy for him, so he just decided that it wasn’t. _This will give me a heart-related disease. I’m not ready to die yet; I have so much to live for._

_But, holy shit, Choi Yeonjun will be the death of me._

Soobin looked away from Yeonjun, as red as a beet, and placed his fingers on its previous spot. “A-anyway, y-you can sing for me, I guess.” He nervously said, refusing to look at the blue-haired boy.

Yeonjun grinned at him. “Start from the beginning. The piano solo; the one that feels like sparkles.” He said, and Soobin obeyed, pouting.

As he played the beginning of the piece once again, he thought of how magical Yeonjun made him feel when he leaned in that close. He’s not sure of the word he should use; the closest was _magical_. Maybe it was because Yeonjun put some kind of curse on him to make him feel that way. Who knows? Soobin did feel butterflies in his stomach, and that fact alone was magical, as it has never happened to him before. It was like an impossible dream, but Yeonjun made it happen.

“ _Caught in a never-ending game,_ ” Yeonjun began to sing again. “ _Seems like the world’s still trying to tame me._ ”

Soobin has never been this captivated by somebody’s voice. Not even the choir that comes before him in this very music room can compare to the soothing and comforting voice that Yeonjun has. It was so inexplicably beautiful.

“ _If that’s the way, I will obey,_ ”

_Soobin, if you get your dumbass this distracted all the time, you wouldn’t even be playing anymore._

“ _Beautifully struggle every day._ ”

_I beautifully struggle every day because of you._

“ _Should we have a little kiss?_ ”

 _Ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad._ Yeonjun’s taunt from earlier began to echo in Soobin’s head again.

 _No, Soobin, you are playing the piano. Pour in everything in this piece. Do not — I repeat, do not — get distracted._ (well, it is hard not to get distracted if the guy who just told you that you want to ‘kiss him so bad’ is the guy singing for you.)

Soobin was getting more and more flustered by Yeonjun’s singing, that he didn’t hear what he was playing anymore. Soobin _never_ lets himself get distracted by his own thoughts unless they can connect to the way he’s playing the piano, but right now, the only thing in his mind was that one action that Yeonjun did to make Soobin’s heart pick up its pace.

It didn’t help that this song that he’s playing and the other guy is singing is a romance song.

Soobin heard the last word of the verse, which was his sign to play his next solo. The solo was just like the beginning, except there were guitar riffs added to the mix. Soobin also plays the guitar riffs (as piano notes, obviously. Soobin would be a god if he can play two instruments at the same time.) along with the accompaniment, making the whole piece sound more beautiful than it already was.

When Soobin played the last note for his solo, he couldn’t move it to play the same progression he’s been playing for the past minute or so.

“It’s alright,” Yeonjun reassured, smiling brightly. “Play when you want to, and play when your mind is clear. Yeah.”

 _It’s your fault, dimwit._ Soobin wanted to say, but stopped himself from doing so.

Yeonjun pat Soobin’s head again. “If something’s bothering you, you can tell me, alright? I’ll be part of your support system, too.” He said reassuringly.

Soobin looked up to meet Yeonjun’s eyes — those fucking eyes — and nodded with a box smile on his face. “I’ll be here for you, too.”

“No, really. I’m serious. If you need a shoulder to cry on, or just somebody to listen to you when you have anything to let out or anything to play,” Yeonjun said, “I’ll be here.”

Soobin gave him a box smile, and nodded.

The both of them stayed like that; Soobin still sitting on the grand piano’s chair, with Yeonjun standing beside him and stroking his head as if he were a pet bunny. The brown-haired boy welcomed the pats very warmly, and was happy that he’s receiving them.

Soobin wonders how Yeonjun can read his emotions and thoughts so well. Was it really because he was a good pianist? _Oh, fuck_. Soobin started to curse internally, realizing what's going wrong. _If that were the case, maybe Yeonjun knows that he’s making me feel all fuzzy. Shit, shit, shit! Abort mission! Lock the doors whenever you’re playing the piano; he can’t hear something as embarrassing as that!_

“Oh, also,” Yeonjun said, stopping the head pats for a while, (which made Soobin’s head feel empty, like his heart) “if you want a cute little nickname, you can tell me to make one up for you.”

“Huh?” Soobin asked, dazed.

“This love of my life — _platonic_ love of my life,” Yeonjun said, dragging the word ‘platonic’, “is actually my best friend. Every month, we’d have a Your Name weekend, where we’d both eat hotdogs and cry.”

“Oh.” Soobin said, feeling his head go airy because of the sudden embarrassment. He wanted to do nothing except go to his phone and search on wikiHow ‘how to disappear without a trace.’

“But, if it makes you feel better, I’ll stop doing that for you.” Yeonjun winked.

Soobin’s face’s temperature has officially reached an all-time high. _This is not the same guy who cried when he listened to me play The Maiden’s Prayer._

“N-no, I don’t t-think so,” he managed to stutter out. _Barely._ “Uh, anyway, want to go to the bakery? Kai and Taehyun a-are there. Since you’re one of us now, y-you can go with us. If you want to.”

Yeonjun’s face lit up at the offer. “Really?”

Soobin nodded, looking away so that he would not feel his heart thump anymore. He closed the piano to avoid looking at Yeonjun’s bright face.

“Y-yeah. Let’s go?” Soobin quietly said, picking up his bag as he gestured for Yeonjun to go first. When Soobin was able to lock the door of the music room, Yeonjun took his hand and ran along the hallway of the building.

“Wait! I wasn’t prepared!” Soobin said loudly, but Yeonjun just looked back and laughed, continuing to run as he dragged Soobin along with him.

“I’ve always wanted to do this with someone!” He told Soobin loudly, not caring if anybody else was looking or staring at them.

_He’s so beautiful._

His heart was beating fast. In situations like this, he’d always think that it’s racing so quickly because he was running (Soobin absolutely hates running simply because they make his chest hurt). If someone like Hueningkai or Taehyun or actually anyone did this with him, Soobin wouldn’t even notice it if his heart was beating fast.

 _Fuck. I think I get it now._ Soobin thought, feeling his heart beat loudly.

Yeonjun looked back to check up on the taller boy once more. When they locked eyes, Yeonjun gave Soobin the biggest toothy grin, laughing at Soobin as they ran. The blue-haired boy looked so happy, content, and... _beautiful_.

Soobin felt the surroundings light up when he saw Yeonjun's smile.

_It’s beating fast because of you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think every update from now on will be significantly longer than the previous ones. i hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please leave comments and suggestions on how i can improve!! as always, thank you for the support! it means so so much to me <33
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	6. cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)  
> 1\. mozart - ah vous dirai-je, maman (twinkle twinkle little star)  
> * + var. 2 - https://youtu.be/hCKBl-TpRzc?t=115  
> * 2. satie - gymnopédie, no. 1 (https://youtu.be/2WfaotSK3mI)

_You’re really cute._

_Are you jealous?_

_Ooh, you wanna kiss me so bad._

It’s been twelve days, twenty-one hours, probably thirty-nine minutes since one Choi Yeonjun told those three completely different sentences to Soobin in the same night.

Obviously, even after such a long period of time, Soobin still hasn’t gotten over any of them.

During their bakery hang-out after the whole Sparkle thing, Soobin couldn’t even open his mouth to speak (Hueningkai had to threaten to eat his sandwich if he was going to stay speechless). It was _torture_ for Soobin to be across the guy who’s making his heart go crazy as they ate their bread. Yeonjun looked like it didn’t affect him at all, as he was bantering with the two meatheads even after that whole thing.

When they parted in the residence halls, Soobin ran to his room, buried his face with his pillow, and screamed as he kicked the bed multiple times. 

“ _Soobin-hyung, are you okay?_ ” Soobin remembers Hueningkai asking him, and when Soobin looked up to face the two, his face was as red as a strawberry.

“ _Oh no, hyung! Do you have a fever?_ ” Hueningkai said in panic, as Taehyun placed the back of his palm on the forehead of the eldest.

“ _He’s fine, though,_ ” Taehyun wondered, looking at Hueningkai, whose face was still all concerned.

“ _Aish!_ ” Soobin whined out, burying his face again and kicking the bed even faster and more forcefully than before.

Soobin barely got sleep that night because of the things Yeonjun told him, so you would’ve expected his bags to appear much heavier and darker than usual. When he met with Yeonjun that morning, the older only laughed and said, “ _You look like a panda! Pandas are cute._ ”

Soobin barely got to comprehend what was going on in his first two classes because of that.

The four of them have the same routine: they would eat lunch together, go to class, go to their respective clubs (or sleep in front of the music room) or do requirements, go to the music room and/or the bakery, then go back home to the residence halls.

“ _Yeonjun. You’re here early,_ ” Soobin would say whenever Yeonjun would appear 30 minutes before his dance club meetings ended. This happens every Tuesday and Thursday, whenever Yeonjun has a dance club meeting.

“ _Yeah. I dismissed everyone early. We don’t have a competition coming up, anyway._ ” He’d always reply along those lines, and Soobin would continue playing the piano after that. He would play various light classical pieces, and have a fun story time with Yeonjun about whatever happened that day. Hearing Yeonjun’s stories and being able to know what he’s done that day that made him cheerful, upset or bored makes Soobin feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Of course, the older would say remarks that would make Soobin go sleepless the same night, like that one time Soobin played all 12 variations of Mozart’s Ah vous dirai-je, Maman — better known as Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star — and Yeonjun, in the middle of Soobin’s playing, randomly blurted out, “ _You remind me of this piece a lot._ ”

Soobin, without looking at Yeonjun, said, “ _Why?_ ”

Soobin remembers Yeonjun’s little chuckle before saying, “ _It’s fun. I like it. Especially the second variation; it reminds me of you the most._ ”

The brown-haired boy chuckled. “ _Then, why?_ ”

Yeonjun smiled at him. “ _Fun, exciting, something you can listen to to make your heart race. It’s beautiful._ ”

That night, Soobin kept squealing like a little girl that kept both of his roommates awake. It was a good thing that he was roommates with _incredibly_ understanding people, otherwise, he would’ve been fucked with an incident report. (that’s partly untrue; Taehyun almost filed a report against Soobin until the older boy got on his knees.) 

Another time Soobin almost got reported by his very own friends was when he was so hyperactive, he chased Hueningkai around the school like a mad rabbit. This hyperactivity was caused by — you guessed it — Yeonjun and his stupid, heart-racing actions. One Thursday afternoon, before going to his dance club, Yeonjun suddenly squished both sides of Soobin’s cheeks with both hands _in the middle of the busy hallway_. The blue-haired boy murmured “ _Cutie!_ ” so many times as he did so.

When Yeonjun finally had to go, Soobin felt the daggers of all of Yeonjun’s fans’ eyes strike him all at the same time. Because of this, he got so scared that instead of sleeping in front of the music room (he thought there would be a voodoo doll of him there), he went around the school looking for Hueningkai. When he caught sight of the brown-haired sunshine, he just screamed his name and Naruto-ran towards him. This, of course, scared Hueningkai to death.

Soobin had to be lectured that night by Taehyun for scaring Hueningkai like that.

But, by far, the worst thing Yeonjun has done to Soobin for the past few days was take pictures of him.

“ _Soobin!_ ” Yeonjun would call out. Of course, Soobin would look at his direction, then he’d hear a click right after he looked.

Soobin, being the insecure guy he is, would reach for Yeonjun’s phone and say, “ _Delete! Delete! Delete! I probably look stupid! Give me that!_ ”

“ _Nah, you’re pretty._ ” Yeonjun would nonchalantly say. Soobin’s face would end up looking like a tomato, then Yeonjun would take a picture of his tomato face. The younger wouldn’t have the energy to fight him anymore.

“ _Soobin!_ ” He remembers hearing Yeonjun say that, then hear the same click of the camera right after. “ _Aw, you can use this as your profile picture! Credit me, though._ ”

“ _My profile picture looks fine as it is._ ” Soobin would say, huffing.

“ _Sure,_ ” Yeonjun would reply. “ _Doesn’t matter which one ends up as your profile picture, anyway._ ”

“Soobin,” someone called his name out.

This broke Soobin free from his reverie, and was returned to the present, as if his name getting called was a way to time travel. When he looked up from his desk, he saw his classmate, Yeji, handing out a flyer to him.

“Oh? What’s this?” Soobin asked, stretching a bit as he looked at the flyer with elegant colors.

“You play the piano, right?” Yeji asked, which earned a quick nod from Soobin. “Then you can perform for this charity musical showcase thing. It’s a fundraiser for kids with leukemia. A friend of mine organized this and a lot of people are going to watch. It would be even better if you performed; you’re well-known in the music scene.”

Soobin chuckled a bit. “That was years ago. I don’t think anybody remembers my name, anyway.”

Yeji shrugged. “Who knows? I’ve heard of your name back in first grade, watched you perform in second grade, and recognized your name the moment I saw our class list back in seventh grade.”

Soobin took the flyer from her hand, showing her his dimple. “Thanks, Yeji. I’ll think about it.”

Yeji smiled at him, and turned her back to rejoin her friends, who looked like they were gossiping about Soobin.

Soobin sighed. _And when I thought things were amazing, I was brought back to the present._

It’s been years since he last performed in front of an audience; the only thing he remembers is how good he felt whenever the crowd would applaud him, practically begging for an encore. The worst thing is probably the fact that he couldn’t remember the _feeling_ of being in front of so many people.

It was a complicated relationship, and Soobin chose to forget all the memories except for the best.

-𝄞-𝄢-

“Huh?” Yeonjun reacted, confused with Soobin’s words.

It’s a breezy Wednesday afternoon, which meant that Taehyun and Hueningkai had football practice, while Yeonjun was absolutely free.

Soobin sighed, mentally preparing to repeat himself. “I said, I’m not gonna go to the music room today.”

Yeonjun tilted his head, then scratched it. “Yeah, I know, I understood it. I just didn’t absorb it.” He said before he repeated, “Huh?”

Soobin let out a chuckle. “Nothing. I’m just not in the mood to wait for the choir to finish today, you know? Let’s go to the bakery early today. We can do the social science proposal together.”

Yeonjun face-palmed before walking to the direction of the bakery. “Aish, the social science proposal. Ours is due on Friday.”

“Bleh,” Soobin said, sticking his tongue out childishly. “Ours is due on Monday.”

“Unfair.” Yeonjun huffed, pouting at the younger. “Why’d you invite me to do it when yours is due in, like, a week? To taunt me?” He whined, stomping his foot a bit.

 _Cutie,_ Soobin thought.

Instead of saying those words (because Soobin was a pussy), Soobin giggled. “Yes, maybe. Also, to lessen my workload for the week. I kind of want to laze around for the whole weekend.”

“Okay, that’s kind of valid.” Yeonjun shrugged. “You know what isn’t? You have three extra days to work on your proposal while my classmates and I have to do it all in two days.”

“Well, does it really matter?” Soobin started. “You’re the top of your class in social science, even with such a hectic schedule. You have a dance club to lead and two kids to babysit when I’m gone. If anyone can do it, you can, Yeonjun.” He said reassuringly, giving him a pat on his shoulder. “I believe in you.”

Yeonjun’s cheeks did it again — they matched the color of strawberries. Maybe it was the cool wind; it was a bit cold, after all.

“W-well, thanks,” Yeonjun shyly said, scratching his neck.

“Um, excuse me,” the two boys suddenly heard from behind. They both looked back, and saw a girl smaller than both of them; her index finger twirling her hair and her cheeks having almost the same color as Yeonjun’s just a while ago.

Soobin eyed her suspiciously. _Very_ suspiciously.

The girl didn’t look at either of them, and her gaze was only on her fidgeting fingers. “Uh, Yeonjun-oppa, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Soobin raised an eyebrow. _It’s the O word. It’s one of them again._

“Soobin, you good with me going for a while? I’ll join you right after.” Yeonjun said, looking at the taller boy.

“No problem.” Soobin said coldly without meeting Yeonjun’s eyes, as he was still eyeing the girl as if he was going to take all of her money.

Yeonjun gestured for the girl to go on, and when she did, he gave Soobin a head pat. “See you in a while.” He said, giving him a smile before trailing behind the girl.

Soobin felt bitter about the whole encounter. “ _Yeonjun-oppa,_ ” Soobin mimicked her voice multiple times. “Aish! What’s with her?” He said to himself, stomping and scratching his head. “Why would she like someone like Yeonjun?”

Soobin’s eyes followed them, their figures becoming smaller and smaller. _Where are they going? Will they make-out? Oh, fuck, are they already dating? Is that his girlfriend? Why didn’t he tell me? Is it that big of a secret?_

 _Aish, Choi Soobin! That’s none of your business!_ He thought, hitting his head multiple times until he learns his lesson (he doesn’t).

“Hello, South Korea!” Soobin heard somebody shout from the entrance of their school, breaking Soobin’s train of thought. When he looked, the guy — a dirty blond guy — who shouted just came out of a bus, with a neck pillow around his neck. “The smell of Seoul.” He said loudly as he took in a deep breath.

“Choi, you don’t want a report right before you get to class, do you?” A guy that looked like a teacher said, bonking Choi’s head with a rolled sheet of paper.

 _Another Choi._ Soobin thought.

 _Speaking of Choi,_ Soobin said mentally, his thoughts going back to Choi Yeonjun. When he looked back to the direction where the girl and Yeonjun walked to, they were nowhere to be found.

 _Fuck._ Soobin swore internally, scratching his head again. “Aish!”

Why would Yeonjun leave me in the middle of the school’s walkway for a girl?

Well, to be fair, you did agree.

“Shut up, inner voices.” Soobin threatened silently like a madman. He felt something that he hasn’t experienced before, but it was… unsettling. Like, he didn’t want to feel this — whatever this is — towards the girl, but he wanted to challenge her to a rhythm game 1v1 of her choice just so he could crush her in that game so bad that she’ll remember her defeat every time she sees the said rhythm game.

“What’s wrong with you, Soobin.” He told himself once again, bonking his head with his palm. “That’s too violent.”

Soobin closed his eyes, rubbing his eyelids with his right thumb and index finger. He doesn’t want to destroy the girl so mercilessly like that (/nx), he just wanted to… he doesn’t know either.

For some reason, he wants to prove it to everyone that he’s better than her.

 _Aish, Soobin, you don’t even know her name!_ He thought to himself, bonking his head once more.

“Choi, watch out!” Soobin heard somebody shout, interrupting his thoughts _again_. When he looked at the source of the voice (ready to tell them off), he saw the same dirty blond from earlier, sitting on a luggage, getting closer and closer to Soobin at an alarming rate. When the two made eye contact, the both of them screamed at the top of their lungs.

Luckily, Soobin got to dodge the moving luggage, but unluckily for the dirty blond, he did not dodge the tree behind Soobin.

“Oof!” The guy on the luggage said as he crashed on the tree, laughing loudly afterwards.

“Hey! Are you okay?” Panickedly, Soobin questioned, dusting himself as he walked towards the guy, who was still sitting on his luggage.

“Ya! Yang Jeongin! You’re gonna pay for that later!” Luggage man shouted to the guy who was carrying his own bags. This Jeongin guy just stuck out his tongue at the luggage man, and ran away to the residence halls.

“Sigh, Jeongin,” Luggage man shook his head, then looked at Soobin. “I’m fine. What about you, hyung? I’m really sorry for that. Jeongin decided it was fun watching me suffer.”

 _Hyung?_ Soobin thought, but shook it off immediately. Instead of asking, he showed a dimple. “Don’t worry. Whatever you were doing looked fun, anyway.”

“Not when you almost killed someone, Soobin-hyung.” Luggage man chuckled softly.

_Hyung? Soobin-hyung?_

“Soobin-hyung?” Soobin asked as he pointed a finger at himself, shocked that the luggage man knew what his name was.

Luggage man suddenly put his hands on his mouth, eyes wide. “Fuck, you’re not Soobin-hyung, are you?”

“Well, uh… I am.” Soobin replied, giving the suspicious eyes to the luggage man as he walked away from him slowly. “Just not sure why you know who this Soobin-hyung is.”

Luggage man let out a sigh of relief. “God, for a second, I thought I got the wrong person,” he said, his hand on his chest. “That would’ve been embarrassing, you know? Anyway, it’s kinda hard to know if it’s you when all the pictures I’ve seen of you are you with really red cheeks.” Luggage man said, air-gripping his own cheeks.

“R-red cheeks?” Soobin raised an eyebrow. “H- what? Are you a stalker?”

Luggage man’s face dropped. “How could I stalk you? I wasn’t in Seoul for three weeks.”

“I don’t know, Facebook?” Soobin asked, testing the luggage man. Soobin has _never_ uploaded a picture of him for the past six months or so. “Plus, how would I know you weren’t in Seoul for three weeks?”

Luggage man gave Soobin a ‘bruh moment’ face. “I don’t use Facebook. And, I don’t know. I guess it was a flex.”

“Oh,” Soobin let out. “How do you know me, though?”

Luggage man laughed. “I think everyone knows who Choi Soobin is, especially if you’re a musician.” He said, shrugging.

 _That’s the second time my musical background was brought up,_ Soobin thought, chuckling.

Before he can ask about luggage man's knowledge about Soobin, luggge man leaned in closer, as if he was going to tell Soobin a secret. “But also, because I know someone who’s deep-”

“ _Choi Beomgyu_!” Soobin and the luggage man heard somebody way behind them shout, cutting the latter off. When they both looked back, they saw a blue-haired boy waving frantically, running fast to their direction.

“ _Yeonjun-hyung_!” Luggage man shouted with the same loudness, but since Soobin was beside him, Soobin felt like his ears were going to fall off. Luggage man ran in the direction of Yeonjun, and when they met halfway, they gave each other a big, big hug.

_What the fuck is happening here?_

Soobin was very, very confused.

Yeonjun and the luggage man had their arms slung around each other, like good old pals, as they walked toward Soobin. Both of them had a huge grin on their face and were conversing extremely loudly, like they haven’t seen each other in ages and had a lot to catch up on.

“Hi, Soobin,” Yeonjun greeted as the two reached Soobin, whose face was still clouded with confusion. “This is Beomgyu. The archnemesis of my previous life’s character. Also the dude who made me watch that Your Name movie.”

“Aish, hyung, stop being so dramatic,” Beomgyu whined out. “Hello, Soobin-hyung.”

_Oh my God, it's the love of his life._

Soobin was shocked that he met Your Name man this early, so he just let out an awkward chuckle along with a bow. But, obviously, there was something that Soobin was feeling. It was like what he felt towards rhythm game girl earlier, except it was a bit lighter this time.

And Soobin, without knowing why, felt hopeless.

“Well, anyway,” Beomgyu’s face lit up. “We have a — err, — barbecue party for our win.” Beomgyu said, wiggling his eyebrows at Yeonjun. “Imma leave my luggage in our room and then tell you _everything_ later, hyung.” He said, letting go of Yeonjun and getting his luggage.

“Our room’s been feeling empty without you.” Yeonjun’s bottom lip overlapped the top lip. “It’s sad doing requirements alone.”

Beomgyu gave Yeonjun a head pat.

 _A head pat._ Soobin thought bitterly.

“I’ll be going now, you two have fun with whatever you were planning on doing,” Beomgyu laughed, winking at Yeonjun. _Winking at Yeonjun?!_

“Shut up,” Yeonjun murmured.

“And, Soobin-hyung,” Beomgyu started, facing the taller guy. “Really sorry about the luggage thing earlier. I’ll be more careful from now on!” He declared, giving Soobin a salute.

“No worries.” Soobin dismissed, forcing a smile.

“Anyway, catch you guys later!” Beomgyu said as he ran towards the residence halls. “Byebye!”

“Bye!” Yeonjun said as he waved.

When the boy with the luggage was out of sight, Yeonjun said, “Well, shall we?”

Soobin pouted. _I want a relationship like that with Yeonjun._

“Uh, you can get going. Tell the two I’m gonna be in the music room,” Soobin said, showing his dimple without having to meet Yeonjun’s eyes. “I have stuff to practice. Yeah. I forgot I need to practice daily. For my, you know, skills to stay with me.” He chuckled nervously.

“Can I go with you, then?” Yeonjun said, his eyes matching the twinkle of the stars.

Soobin wanted to say yes, but there was a force pulling him from doing so. “Nah, the two are probably done with football, so they’re probably waiting. Just tell them I’ll be practicing. See you.” He said in a monotone voice, smiling at Yeonjun without looking at him, and going to the direction of the school’s stairs.

Soobin did not know what made him want to leave. Like, he wanted to make Yeonjun notice that he’s upset.

_Why am I upset again?_

-𝄞-𝄢-

“Ouch.” Soobin whined out. “My back.”

Soobin stretched out, his back feeling like it was about to snap itself into half. He also stretched his arm, which hurt a lot, as he was lying on it for God knows how long.

_God knows how long…_

He looked at the open window.

“Fuck!” Soobin said to himself as soon as he noticed the color of the sky. He shot up as soon as he did, because the last time he saw the sky, it was still light blue.

“Oh my God, Choi Soobin,” he said exasperatingly when he opened his phone and saw the time.

8:12 PM.

“You, sir, are incredibly stupid for falling asleep like that.” He told himself, raising his arm to bonk his head for his stupidity. When he did, he felt something almost fall off his shoulder. Lucky for him, he got to catch it before it fell off completely.

He examined the something that almost fell, and saw the word ‘CHOI’ in the back.

“I don’t have a varsity jacket,” he said to himself, further examining the piece of clothing. When he flipped the jacket to view its front and saw his school’s dance club’s name by the front pocket, he froze.

_Choi… dance club…_

His cheeks heated up faster than before.

“Oh my God, what is this doing on my shoulders?” He said in panic, his hands trembling. “Did I accidentally steal it? God fuck! Oh my God, why is it with me?” Soobin said, feeling like it’s the end of the world. _Yeonjun’s fans are going to kill me._

“Beomgyu, shut up.” He heard somebody say before snoring loudly.

“Beomgyu?” Soobin said, offended.

“There’s food in the fridge. Not Australian.”

Soobin recognized that voice. (of course he did.)

When Soobin leaned back a little bit, he saw a moonlit blue-haired boy leaning on the music room’s glass cabinet, a phone buzzing with notifications on the said boy’s hand. His hair was disheveled, and his legs were sprawled in front of him.

_He’s so pretty._

Soobin looked at the sleeping Yeonjun, and smiled fondly. This man is too beautiful.

Soobin stood up from his seat and held the jacket with both hands, the back facing him. When he reached Yeonjun, he squatted in front of him and put the jacket safely around his shoulders, like a makeshift blanket.

Seeing Yeonjun’s face lit by the moon like this was making Soobin’s heart beat loudly. _What the fuck is he doing here?_

 _But, no one’s allowed to be this beautiful._ He thought, smiling to himself before getting up to go back to the piano, knowing the next piece to play for the sleeping man who’s suddenly in the music room.

“Gymnopédie No. 1, Erik Satie.” Soobin whispered to himself, positioning his fingers on the black and white keys, then finally starting to press them one by one.

The piece has always felt like a night under the moonlight for Soobin. If Clair de Lune was a piece describing a journey under the moon, then Gymnopédie No. 1 was a composition of what a serene night feels like beneath the moon; just staring up at the night sky, playing the piano in a grassy field, the plants clashing against each other, and the cool wind swaying with Soobin as his fingers moved places slowly.

Gymnopédie No. 1 feels like a melody you’d hear in a dream. There was something about its notes, its tempo and its softness that makes this piece sound so beautiful, so lulling, and so peaceful. It can pass as a lullaby if played gracefully. It sounds like it came out of the Minecraft soundtrack, too. That’s how Soobin described the piece to his old piano tutor: a Minecraft song. (followed by this toothy grin.)

Soobin couldn’t really put his finger on it, but there was absolutely no sadness he could feel from this tune. Maybe it was because he was playing it for somebody. After all, he was playing it for Yeonjun; he probably couldn’t even hear this piece that was dedicated for him.

Soobin can describe getting to know Yeonjun using Gymnopédie No. 1. The feeling of playing it is familiar to the way he feels about meeting Yeonjun. It felt like a dream, a dream too good to be true. A dream that’s supposed to be untouchable, and a dream that Soobin could’ve lived without. But, now that he has seen and experienced this beautiful dream, he couldn’t imagine his life without it. For the time that Soobin has known Yeonjun, everything seemed so… perfect. Since Soobin didn’t know how to describe the feeling of meeting the blue-haired boy, he’ll play a piece that can compare the feeling: that piece is Gymnopédie No. 1.

Maybe he should stop calling it the Minecraft song; maybe he can call it the Yeonjun song because the piece stopped reminding Soobin of the sandbox game, and started reminding him of the beautiful blue-haired boy.

Soobin continued to play the piece softly and smoothly, his hands feeling like clouds. He didn’t want to stop playing this composition; he didn’t want to let go of what seemed like the most perfect minutes of Soobin’s life.

_I don’t know if you’ll hear this piece, but it’s for you, you supposedly untouchable perfect human being, Choi Yeonjun._

When Soobin finished playing the last few notes of the song, he couldn’t help but feel a bit teary-eyed. He thought of Yeonjun’s smile, Yeonjun’s jokes, Yeonjun’s laugh, and Yeonjun’s soft clap whenever Soobin would finish playing a piece.

_My life was okay without you. I didn’t know that my life would be happier if you were added to the mix. I never expected you to enter my life in the first place._

He thought of Yeonjun’s eyes; those eyes that sparkled whenever he talked about his friends, those eyes that seem to close whenever he would laugh at something he found funny, those eyes that looked like they held the whole universe.

Those eyes that made Soobin’s heart go crazy whenever he’d see them.

_I don’t want this dream to end. I don’t want you to go._

“You know, you never fail to amaze me.” A hoarse voice said, followed by a throat getting cleared.

When Soobin looked at the direction of the glass cabinet, he saw Yeonjun in the same sleeping position, except his eyes are now wide open.

_Did he hear all of that?_

“Hi,” Soobin started. “What are you doing here?”

Yeonjun shrugged. “Kind of went to check if you were still here, then I saw you asleep here on top of the piano. Didn’t want to wake you up, so I waited for you to. Then I guess I kinda fell asleep while waiting.” He chuckled.

Soobin felt his cheeks go red. “Oh, you didn’t have to. I could’ve woken up by myself, plus, it wasn’t my first time falling asleep in the music room. Ma’am Melody gets here by 5, anyway. That’s at least 2 hours to prepare.”

“Oh.” Yeonjun let out. “I didn’t know. I’ll continue to check the music room when we part early, anyway.”

That did not help cool Soobin’s cheeks at all.

“A-anyway,” Yeonjun started again, scratching his neck. “Did you get a flyer from Yeji?”

 _Ah, fuck._ Soobin thought, face-palming himself internally. _I forgot about that._

“Yeah.” Soobin replied quickly.

“Will you perform?” Yeonjun asked, curious.

“I’m still thinking of it.” He answered. “How’d you know about the flyers?”

Yeonjun shrugged. “Yeji gave me a lot of copies of it so I can give it away to girls, apparently. Then when I read it, I thought of you performing.”

“Still thinking of it.” Soobin repeated himself, smiling as he looked down.

“Hmm, why?” Yeonjun asked, tilting his head a bit before standing up, his jacket on his hand. “I never got to ask you, anyway. Why don’t you perform? You’re really good.”

 _That’s one additional person who doesn’t know that I used to perform,_ Soobin thought. _One less person to explain everything to._

“Stage fright.” Soobin answered, getting up to close the piano and get the stuff he placed beside the piano. “Don’t know. I just don’t like the idea of performing as a whole.”

“Ah, I see.” Yeonjun said, putting two fingers under his chin. “Then it’s time for you to get over that stage fright of yours. Fears will never be gotten over until you yourself do something about it.”

“No.” Soobin replied coldly, giving Yeonjun a serious expression.

Soobin noticed Yeonjun physically deflate. “Oh, okay. Sorry for bringing it up.”

Soobin showed a dimple, suddenly feeling a pang in his heart. “No worries.”

Out of the many silences they shared, this was the most uncomfortable one between the two of them. Soobin was fixing the surroundings around him and stuffed everything in his bag (even that flyer Yeji gave earlier), and Yeonjun was just standing by the glass cabinet, waiting for the younger’s signal to leave the room.

The silence continued to carry on as the two walked side by side in the hallway. Yeonjun was playing with his jacket in his hands, and Soobin was looking around. _Looking around for something to say to end this silence, hopefully,_ Soobin thought, mentally hitting himself.  
  
The two of them walked until they reached the field of the school, the night sky twinkling above them. The night’s cool breeze was making contact with Soobin’s skin, feeling tingles around his body. The grass was swaying with the wind’s beautiful melody, like a choir following the maestro’s orders.

“It’s like how you played.” Yeonjun randomly blurted out as he stopped in his tracks, finally ending that long period of silence for both of them.

 _So, he did hear._ “Played what?” Soobin asked, stopping as well.

“Gymnopédie No. 1.” Yeonjun chuckled. “You kind of woke me up when you started playing it.”

Soobin’s heart dropped at his words. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t apologize,” Yeonjun reassured, smiling. “It’s kind of a me thing to wake up to the first few notes of any piano piece, even if it’s the softest.”

“Sorry,” Soobin murmured quietly, but Yeonjun just squished his cheek.

“I like how this night, in the field, was exactly what I saw when you were playing the piece earlier.” Yeonjun said, looking up at the stars. “The first thing I thought of when I felt the wind was the wind I saw in the grassy field you gave me as you were playing.”

“Oh,” Soobin said, unsure what to say.

“Anyway,” Yeonjun said as he put his jacket around Soobin. “You can keep that for now. It’s really cold and I don’t want to see you sick tomorrow. I want you to meet the _actual_ Beomgyu; the one that doesn’t scream my name and give me a big hug kind of Beomgyu.”

Soobin forgot that Beomgyu existed, but now that he has remembered, he involuntarily pouted.

Yeonjun laughed at Soobin’s reaction, and gave him a squish. “You’re really cute. Don’t worry, Beomgyu’s simping for somebody else.”

Soobin’s heart felt lighter upon hearing those words, so his eyes lit up. “Oh, I see. I thought you guys had something.”

“Aish, I know, right? Somebody who isn’t simping for me. Really weird.” Yeonjun shook his head. “We’ve just been inseparable since first year. I guess he got used to my charms.”

The light in Soobin’s eyes died, and Yeonjun was quick to notice that. “What? It’s true!”

Neither of them expected the next thing Soobin did. Soobin’s fingers found its way to the cheeks of Yeonjun, grabbing a portion of it and pinching it up and down.

Soobin giggled. “You know, you’re cute sometimes. It makes you less cute when you’re like that.” He dared to say, playing with the older’s cheeks with his fingers.

Yeonjun, for the second time since the day they met in the music room, was speechless.

And Soobin, in that very moment, did not mind his beating heart and continuously rising temperature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a long chapter ;_; also really sorry for the late update, as workload from school has been piling up and if you guys know the situation in the philippines, it's pretty rough here.
> 
> stay safe everyone! thank you so much for all of your support. it means so much. <33
> 
> help the philippines: https://helptheph.carrd.co  
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


	7. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> piano pieces (and songs) mentioned in this chapter:  
> (pieces with asterisks * are recommended to listen to for better understanding of what i'm trying to illustrate)  
> * 1. chopin - fantaisie-impromptu (https://youtu.be/Gus4dnQuiGk)  
> 2\. red velvet - red flavor (https://youtu.be/WyiIGEHQP8o)  
> * 3. bts - idol (https://youtu.be/pBuZEGYXA6E)

Twelve days.

Soobin remembers that it took his 10-year-old self only 12 days to perfect just the first minute of Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu. All of his advanced seniors, who were usually at least 5 years older than him, didn’t even bother touching Chopin’s supposedly unpublished piece; “ _When I get better at playing the piano, then maybe._ ”

When they watched a mere 10-year-old perform the whole piece in less than half a month of learning it, the said seniors never touched the piano ever again.

“ _Man, he’s just too good._ ”

“ _Choi Soobin. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that name._ ”

“ _A true prodigy._ ”

“ _He’s so young, but he’s on his way to perfect the art of playing._ ”

“Shut up.” Soobin murmured to himself.

“Hyung!” Soobin heard somebody shout from outside of the music room, stopping both the old chit chat in his head and him from making his fingers sweep the entire piano. “Can you lower it down a bit?”

Soobin breathed out a sigh of disappointment, getting up from his seat to open the door of the music room. The moment he did, he saw Hueningkai with a big smile on his face.

“Can it be heard from upstairs?” Soobin asked anxiously, and Hueningkai nodded in response. “Aish!” Soobin expressed, slapping himself.

“Hyung, I know you’re taking your lunch break right now, but can you please play either a peaceful study piece or nothing at all? Don’t get me wrong, hyung, I love hearing you play, but our teacher told us a story that her ex used to play that-”

“Okay, I get it.” Soobin cut him off, not wanting to hear the next part of the story. “I’ll eat more cheesesteak, I guess.” He said, stepping outside of the room and closing the door.

Hueningkai gave Soobin a pat on the shoulder. “Sorry, hyung. I’ll listen to you play later, I swear! And I’ll give you more cheesesteaks.”

“It’s alright,” Soobin said, smiling reassuringly. “I was just really fired up, especially since the piece I was playing was… _that._ ”

Hueningkai let out a hearty laugh. “Yeah, I know. Taehyunnie loves that piece, too.” Hueningkai rubbed circles on Soobin’s back, then gave him another pat.

“Oh, Soobin-hyung,” somebody said a few meters away from the two boys. When their heads turned simultaneously to find out who called the older out, they saw a dirty blonde with a pen in his hand.

Soobin smiled at the boy. “Hey there, Beomgyu.”

Beomgyu smiled and waved at him, and turned to Hueningkai. “Hello, I’m Beomgyu.”

When Soobin followed Beomgyu’s gaze, Hueningkai’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. _What the fuck?_

“Oh, uh, hi. I’m Hueningkai.” Hueningkai said, his eyes still wide.

Beomgyu gave the younger one a grin. “Anyway, Soobin-hyung, my teacher was asking why you stopped playing the piece. Fantaisie-Impromptu by Chopin, I believe?”

Soobin face-palmed. “Aish. Hueningkai here went to tell me that his teacher found it distracting, and then you are here telling me that your teacher wants to hear more. What should I do? Move the piano to Beomgyu’s class?” He exclaimed frustratingly, face-palming once more.

“Oh, don’t worry, hyung. I’ll tell her about Hueningkai’s teacher, then.” Beomgyu reassured, waving his hand dismissively. “You should eat, hyung. See you!” He said cheerfully, running toward the direction of the stairs.

Soobin waved at the running boy, then looked at Hueningkai when he didn’t see his figure anymore. “You looked like you saw Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Hueningkai returned his gaze to Soobin, then his eyes started to revert back to its old shape. “So true, hyung. Anyway, I have to go to class. Catch you later!” He said hurriedly, running to the stairs and leaving Soobin questioning why he decided to become friends with him.

“Aish, that boy,” Soobin sighed.

-𝄞-𝄢-

Soobin played the same piece the moment everyone from the choir left the music room; some of them even stayed behind to watch him play the composition multiple times, until finally bidding goodbye to Soobin.

Fantaisie-Impromptu is one of the more thrilling pieces that Soobin enjoyed playing; sure, it hurt his fingers even more after each run, but the melody he creates by doing so is more than worth it. The beginning sparks some kind of intensity that’s, in a way, magical and grand… as if you’re in a castle, running through the grandiose hallway and opening every door to look for something important. The melody in the beginning is like time as well; ticking down calmly, but the feeling you get is alarming.

_What a beautiful piece._

Soobin would think of something like that scene in Cinderella when the clock strikes twelve. He was unsure if they used this piece to play in the background as she ran away from her prince, but it would’ve suited nicely; thus, he’d conjure up the scene in his head to match this piece’s magically threatening melody.

But there was one huge problem: Soobin didn’t know how to visualize the next extreme part.

After Cinderella ran down the stairs, did her life get any better? No, it went downhill from there until she got her feet on those shoes. She was mistreated even more by her stepfamily, and even got locked in a storage of some sorts. It was hard for Soobin to transition from one thrilling yet magical moment to a serene and comforting scene, especially if you’re talking about a fairy tale like Cinderella.

He could play this piece no problem, but if somebody with keen ears heard him play, then they’d notice the huge gap between Cinderella running down and a sudden calm sound.

“Shit.” Soobin cursed when he missed a few notes. “Stop thinking.”

“ _Choi Soobin? I’ve heard of that name! Isn’t he the one who learned Chopin’s Fantaisie-Impromptu in barely a month?_ ”

“ _He’s ten years old, too. He uses that piece to destress himself, apparently. He has never played it for any competition._ ”

“ _My, what a talented young lad! I’ve never seen anybody as good as him at my age._ ”

“Shut up.” Soobin told himself. It was not the right time to remember comments he heard from so many years back.

_Maybe I should change my practice piece._

“Boo!” He heard someone say as he felt his shoulders feel heavier, suddenly jumping and screaming at the contact. When he looked back, he saw Beomgyu trying to contain his laughter with his lips inside his mouth.

“Hyung, I didn’t know you were that much of a scaredy cat.” Beomgyu commented quietly, letting out a few snorts.

“Aish! Why won’t you try playing the piano with intense focus and end up getting scared to death by someone?!” Soobin annoyingly yelled, playfully slapping Beomgyu’s hands off of his shoulders.

Beomgyu finally let out his loud laughter. “Sorry, Soobin-hyung. Also, I noticed that you played nothing but that piece today.”

Soobin shrugged. “When I’m about to perform in front of many people, I only practice this piece to get rid of the nervousness.” _But I guess I’ll have to change that._

“Ahh, I see.” Beomgyu said, nodding. It took a while for Soobin’s words to register in Beomgyu’s head, but when they did, his eyes grew. “When you’re about to _what_?!”

Soobin gave him a straight look. “Perform. I’m going to perform.”

Beomgyu gave him a grin. “Ey, that’s nice! I didn’t know you performed.”

Soobin shrugged again. “I didn’t, either.”

With those words, Beomgyu’s eyebrows rose. “What do you mean? How were you supposed to _not_ know, Soobin-hyung?”

“Eh, nothing.” Soobin replied quickly, closing the piano. Beomgyu sat on the floor, leaning on the leg of the grand piano and looked up at Soobin.

“Can I watch you perform? Where will it be?” He asked.

“You have a lot of questions, Beomgyu.”

“I know, hyung.” Beomgyu said, laughing as he waved a dismissive hand. “Can I?”

“If you know Yeji, then sure.” Soobin answered.

“I’m friends with Ryujin, so expect me in the audience, hyung.” Beomgyu said as he made a clicking sound, finger-gunning the elder. “Oh, is this for the charity event?”

Soobin nodded.

“Ahh, I see,” Beomgyu said as he grinned widely. “Then I’ll definitely watch.”

The elder extended his arm and gave the younger one a small pat on the shoulder. “Thanks for the support, Beomgyu. I feel like I’ll flop big time, though.”

Beomgyu tilted his head to the side, gaze full of confusion. “You’re so good at playing the piano, hyung. I doubt you’ll mess up.”

Beomgyu’s words struck Soobin’s heart as if it was shot by a bullet.

“Shut up.” Soobin said coldly, making Beomgyu’s eyes go wide open.

“Oh,” Beomgyu let out, noticing the shift in the older’s tone. “Sorry if I said anything wrong.”

Soobin’s eyes went open too. “Oh my God, Beomgyu, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Beomgyu gave Soobin a back pat. “It’s alright, hyung. I’m sorry if I said anything wrong, anyway. Just let me know if I did and I’ll do my best to not bring it up, or something.” He said reassuringly. “I don’t really know what other people go through, but I’m sure you have your reasons. I’m here.”

Soobin saw Beomgyu as if he’s a saint. “Beomgyu, I'm really-”

“ _Curious about the red flavor, honey,_ ” Soobin was cut off by the singing of the iconic Red Velvet song from outside of the music room.

“ _The strawberry flavor that melts more as you bite!_ ” A different voice said, the singing was getting louder and louder. When Soobin looked out the door, he saw the two dimwits, eyes closed, dancing to Red Flavor: the song playing in Taehyun’s phone.

“ _Look for it a-_ ” Taehyun began, but did not continue singing as he opened his eyes, making eye contact with Soobin, and then Beomgyu.

When Hueningkai opened his eyes, he saw Taehyun standing with his mouth open, and when Hueningkai turned his head to look at the reason why, he rubbed his eyes with his right hand’s pointy finger and thumb.

_What the fuck is going on?_

“Y-yah, S-S-Soobin-hyung,” Taehyun started, pointing his shaking finger at Soobin. “W-why do you have s-so many people over a-all the time?”

Soobin sighed. “Why are you so red, Tae-”

“H-hi, I’m Taehyun, nice to meet you,” Taehyun switched up quickly, his right hand sticking out to the direction of Beomgyu. During the time Taehyun’s hand was up in silence, Red Flavor was still playing in the background.

“Oh, uh, hello.” Beomgyu said in a half-cheery, half-confused tone, shaking Taehyun’s hand. “Choi Beomgyu. Nice to meet you too, Taehyun.”

Something in Taehyun’s eyes lit up, retracting his hand quickly. Hueningkai’s disappointment was so obvious, that Soobin wanted to take a picture of it because Hueningkai never got _that_ disappointed. Shit, Soobin doesn’t even know what’s going on.

“He’s, uh, Yeonjun’s friend.” Soobin awkwardly inserted, like it was an FYI. “He’s probably going to eat lunch with us from now on.”

“Oh, right. I haven’t eaten lunch with any of you,” Beomgyu said in realization. “Well, we’re all friends now.” He continued, giving a warm smile that almost felt like a ghost hug.

Taehyun let out an awkward chuckle. “Yeah. Anyway, what kind of sandwich do you like? Do you like cheesesteaks as much as Soobin-hyung does?”

What the fuck was going on?

Soobin could not stand whatever was going on, because the energy he was getting from Taehyun was not Taehyun _at all_. The football club’s treasure, the approachable and cool guy, was nowhere to be found in this very scenario, as he looked like he was having his final interview for a job.

“Wait, I- uh, kinda need to go to the bathroom,” Soobin softly said as he ducked his head. “I’ll be right back.”

Then ran away from the music room.

_I don’t know what in the world was going on, but anywhere is better than that painfully awkward place._

When Soobin finally reached the stairs, he took his phone from his pocket and texted Hueningkai.

 **whipped hyung:** What was going on there?

Soobin tried his best to delete the memories of what was unfolding in that room as he waited for a response, walking down the stairs slowly. When he heard a ding from his phone, he opened it without missing a beat, his feet still moving.

 **kool kai:** why did you leave me alone here hyung ):  
 **kool kai:** now i cant leave tyunnie will kill me if i leave him alone ):

 **whipped hyung:** But what was going on ?@?!#?@?#

 **kool kai:** hyung  
 **kool kai:** taehyun just found out the name of his crush -__-  
 **kool kai:** pls cut him some slack

_Oh._

**whipped hyung:** OH@#$?#@?$?#$#@

 **kool kai:** same

 **whipped hyung:** IT WAS BEOMGYU ?@?$#$?#  
 **whipped hyung:** W WHAT

 **kool kai:** apparently >__<  
 **kool kai:** it fits the criteria right  
 **kool kai:** same year as tyunnie and me, cute, gone for a few weeks

 **whipped hyung:** MF??!?@#?@$?#@$?#

Suddenly, a familiar EDM type of intro started to play as Soobin stepped on the first floor. Despite his brain filling with the thoughts of Taehyun falling in love for Beomgyu, his mind registered what song it was from the very first beat, especially because he streamed it religiously as it got released.

_You can call me artist (artist),_

Soobin ran to follow the music, muting his phone because of the endless dinging. Yoongi’s part in Idol was about to finish when Soobin reached the place where the music was coming from.

The dance room.

_I know what I am!_

“ _I know what I am!_ " A familiar voice suddenly shouted, catching Soobin’s ears. When he peeked on the slightly parted doors of the room, he saw the back of a sweating blue-haired boy, in a matching gray hoodie and sweatpants. The boy had round cat-like glasses, a new feature that Soobin didn’t know looked extremely good on him. Soobin could see the face of the guy from the mirrors of the room, and blushed.

_I know what I want!_

“Yes, _I know what I want!_ ” Yeonjun loudly said once more, going around as if he were telling his reflection that he knows what he wants.

_I never gon’ change,_

Yeonjun looked like he was going to prepare to dance the pre-chorus, and looked to the left of his reflection. Soobin made eye contact with the said reflection, and gasped so hard that Yeonjun probably heard it.

At that moment, Soobin’s head was filled with little panicking Soobins, all going into chaos as the building burned down.

_Abort fucking mission!_

_I never gon’ trade,_

Soobin thought that Yeonjun definitely knew what the latter was doing, so Yeonjun shot Soobin with a quick wink in the mirror.

 _Motherfucker._ Soobin’s mind spoke.

As much as Soobin thought it was for the best if he looked away, he was captivated by the next few things Yeonjun’s body did. He started dancing the pre-chorus of the song, looking as if he was ready to conquer this song.

Taehyung’s voice was filling the room, but Soobin couldn’t focus on that fact alone. Yeonjun’s fit today really suited him, making him look like a big bear that you can cuddle until the daylight shows. And, _holy shit_ , those glasses. Soobin knew, even from the very first time he laid his eyes on Yeonjun back in their freshman year, that this man looked good; but, shit, with glasses? Soobin felt like he was going to faint.

Jimin’s part was coming up, and every time Soobin watched the group’s Idol stages, this is the part he’d wait for. He wasn’t much of a dancer, but the hype that was building up from the choreography was amazing to feel.

That’s what Yeonjun is making him feel right now.

“ _You can’t stop me lovin’ myself!_ ”

Then the room filled with color, passion, and energy the very moment the chorus started. Not because Jimin’s voice was amazing and full of energy, but because of how Yeonjun was dancing. He was dancing like the rent’s due tomorrow, but with so much power, fluidity, grace, and… perfection.

Soobin could not dance, but he saw the reason why Yeonjun became dance captain for two years. Not because of bias. And especially not because of those goddamn glasses.

There was nothing else to say except Yeonjun owns this song. Idol was a song that wants to give you energy and power, that _oh, I’m me, fuck you, I love myself_. And Yeonjun, as he was dancing along to Namjoon’s words and the catchy instrumental, was embodying those words. When his legs move up to kick, when his arms flow upwards, you can feel his message that he does love himself and feels himself. That, _shit, this is my song_.

Soobin felt his heart beat fast. Shit, Yeonjun always does that to him, but this was different. Yeonjun always saw Soobin do what he loves the most: play the piano. Soobin, despite knowing that the older boy practically owned the dance club, has never seen Yeonjun dance. There was some sort of happiness surging through Soobin’s mind.

Maybe because he has never seen Yeonjun this full of passion, and it made Soobin feel things. Positive things.

Then, suddenly, the music got lower, and a robotic voice said, “Battery low.” Because of this, Yeonjun lost his momentum for a bit, and laughed as he fell on the floor. 

Soobin has never wanted to choke a speaker so bad in his entire life (because it made Yeonjun lose momentum), and marry it at the same time (because he saw the adorable older boy laugh like that in the middle of a dance floor).

“Soobinie, come here.” Yeonjun shouted, laughing as he crawled to his speaker to stop the music for real. Hearing this, Soobin immediately turned to face the opposite side of the dance room.

_S-Soobinie?_

Soobin did not know what to do, putting his hands on both sides of his face and feeling the warmth of it. Should he stay frozen in place? Run around the hallway? Scream at the top of his lungs? Run away and never come back?

_Soobinie?_

The nickname was echoing in his head every two seconds. His two zero-braincelled friends always called him that, but it never hit _this_ hard. He paid attention to the way Yeonjun’s comforting yet mature voice said the three-syllabled nickname. He paid attention to every syllable because, _fuck_ , a nickname shouldn’t hit that hard, right?

“Soobinie, I’m going to pull you in here myself if you don’t come.”

“Coming!” Soobin obediently replied, getting up in no time and walking in the dance room as if he didn’t have a fight with his other selves inside his brain. Soobin decided that he regrets making such a decision, because the moment he saw Yeonjun flick his eyes up to gaze at Soobin, he felt his stomach burst with some kind of butterflies.

“First of all,” Yeonjun started with a serious tone.

 _Fuck, did he find it creepy that I was just watching? Wait, he did acknowledge me, though. But his voice sounds serious. Shit, maybe he caught me staring? His glasses look good. Oh my God, I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have been drawn here by BTS. Please don’t kick me out as a friend when I haven’t even made you mine yet._ Soobin managed to think up while keeping his face calm.

“I’m sorry for messing up on that part.” Yeonjun pouted.

“Huh?” Soobin let out extremely loudly, confusion spreading throughout his face. “What?”

Yeonjun sighed, patting the spot beside him as if he’s gesturing Soobin to indian sit beside him. “Usually, even when the music stops playing, I still dance. But I messed up earlier. Just a little bit of softness, then I fell. Hard.”

Soobin wanted to slap him. Not because he was mad, but he was apologizing for making a mistake that wasn’t even that big. “What? You did great, though. I’ve never seen somebody dance with so much power and passion like that. Besides, everybody makes mistakes from time to time. You looked like you had fun, anyway, so I guess that’s what matters.” Soobin blabbered out, not minding the butterflies in his stomach.

Yeonjun’s ears turned pink, squishing the younger’s cheeks. “Thank you, Soobinie.”

It was Soobin’s turn to be pink.

Yeonjun squished harder, making Soobin wince playfully. “So, was you squishing my cheeks a few nights ago all payback for me squishing your cheeks all the time?” Yeonjun said in a childish tone.

“Ah, no! You really are cute,” Soobin mindlessly said, but then realized the weight of his words (causing his eyes to widen and his cheeks to be in a deeper shade of pink) and quickly added, “sometimes.”

Yeonjun’s face turned straight and let go of Soobin’s cheeks that very instant. He moved away from Soobin a few meters, and muttered, “Sometimes, sometimes.”

Soobin gasped. “What? When you get full of yourself, just like that,” he pointed at the boy and the gap between them, “you become less cute!”

“So, should I stop being so full of myself? God, I’m so ugly.”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that!” Soobin practically shouted, pulling the arms of the blue-haired guy, but to no avail. “No, you’re not, you’re very handsome! Especially in those glasses!”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened, and looked at Soobin, whose eyes were the size of the moon.

Soobin quickly let go of Yeonjun’s arms, hands going to cover his mouth, but did not dare break eye contact. “Did I say too much?”

Yeonjun just stared at him, not moving an inch.

Soobin has never wanted to bury himself six feet under, but now he kind of wants to and come out as a zombie with no brains, forgetting everything he said. No, six feet isn’t enough. Maybe twelve feet? Eighteen? Better yet, to the core of the Earth? Maybe then his warm temperature would be excusable by something else.

Before he could think again, Yeonjun tackled him to the ground with a hug, and the older boy smiled on the younger’s shoulder.

Soobin’s brain malfunctioned.

“It’s okay, I know.” Yeonjun said in a voice that felt like a smile, and giggled on Soobin’s shoulder as he snuggled in closer, like a sloth on a branch.

Soobin’s eyes were on the ceiling, unable to move at all. He knew Yeonjun was facing him with this position, literally clinging like a sloth on a branch; that branch was Soobin, whose back was fully on the ground.

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God._

Miraculously, Soobin got to reply. Barely. “K-know what?”

“Know that I’m extremely handsome.”

“You have three seconds to get off of me.”

“What?”

“Three, two,”

“Nah,” Yeonjun said, hugging Soobin tighter. “Do you like hugs?”

Soobin sighed into the hug, moving to put an arm for Yeonjun’s head to rest on and another to lay lazily on his waist. “Yes, Yeonjun. Yes, I do.”

The two of them stayed like that for a few moments. They breathed comfortably around each other, and the silence felt more like a friend between the both of them. No words were needed to be said or heard to make this one scene a beautiful moment, a beautiful moment that the two of them knew was relaxing and homey.

Soobin breathed in deeply, smelling Yeonjun’s scent. Yeonjun didn’t smell like he was dancing at all; he smelled vanilla, the exact same vanilla he wore when they first met. The same vanilla that was intoxicating, addicting and… warm. This scent was exactly the same as the one before, but it felt so much more memorable and comforting for some reason.

Maybe it was because Soobin may have feelings for this boy.

“Hey,” Yeonjun started.

“Hmm?” Soobin hummed in reply.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I dunno,” Yeonjun sighed. “Did you feel not alright today or anything?”

_When you told Beomgyu to shut up._

“Aish!” Soobin shouted, violently shaking his head while making sure Yeonjun doesn’t get hit. “Aish, aish, aish! I’m so stupid.”

“What? You good?” Yeonjun asked worriedly, facing the taller boy. “You can talk to me.”

“I did something incredibly stupid.” Soobin sighed. “What does Beomgyu like?”

“H-huh? Why?” Yeonjun asked with a hint of confusion… and something else that Soobin couldn’t tell.

“I kind of told him to shut up earlier when he was just trying to be nice to me.” Soobin sighed, remembering Beomgyu’s face when he heard that. “I want to apologize by giving him something. He was so nice right after, too. Aish!”

“Cheesesteak.” Yeonjun said nonchalantly. “Beomgyu likes cheesesteak.”

Soobin laughed, thinking of Taehyun who asked Beomgyu about that. If Taehyun doesn’t know the answer, at least Soobin does. “We’re the same, then. I love cheesesteak, too.”

Yeonjun pinched Soobin’s cheek. “He only likes it because I befriended him over it. Gave him one, then became best friends for life. I wish it’s like that all the time.”

“Then I’ll befriend him too with cheesesteak. I’ll copy your idea.” Soobin playfully teased.

“Hey! The two of you are friends, anyway.” Yeonjun said with a huff. “But, why did you tell him to shut up, anyway? It’s not like Beomgyu to say something offensive.”

“That’s the thing: he didn’t,” Soobin heavily groaned. “It was just me being a crybaby, I guess.”

“Hmm?”

“Look, I have this thing.” Soobin started. Soobin didn’t bother hesitating because he knew he could trust Yeonjun with something as small as this. “I don’t like it when people compliment me. I just… I don’t know, I remember so many bad things when I get complimented.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Yeonjun started to say.

“No!” Soobin screamed. “No, not you. It feels different if you compliment me.”

“Oh,” Yeonjun let out. “Okay. I’m here for you if you need anybody to talk to.”

Soobin shrugged. “It’s fine. You accompanying me is more than enough, but thank you for making me feel a bit better.”

Soobin didn’t want to look at Yeonjun, because he knew that his heart would explode once he saw how close the older boy was to his face. The said older boy will surely tease him about it as well, then Soobin would get outed and it would be the end of his career as a first-timer in having crushes. Knowing Yeonjun, he’d probably tease Soobin by leaning in closer then booping their noses together.

 _Choi Soobin, get yourself together!_ He thought.

“You’re red.”

 _That’s what you get, you fucking dumbass._ Soobin scolded himself internally.

“So?” Soobin replied, refusing to face Yeonjun. “You’re very close to me, and you’re warm, too. It would be hard not to feel warm or anything.”

“Warm as in, physically or internally?”

“Bo- physically.” Luckily, Soobin got to stop himself. Luckily.

Yeonjun just hummed. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, Soobinie.”

_This would a hundred percent help me sleep at night, Yeonjun. I’m sure. Thanks for the concern, I guess. Jesus._

“We should do this more often.” Soobin blurted out without thinking at all when the silence lingered longer than he pleased.

Before Soobin’s thoughts flooded his mind with unnecessary plans to bury himself immediately, Yeonjun quickly replied with, “Gladly.”

_And it was that fucking easy._

“Ehem,” somebody fake coughed, then coughed, then coughed again. This chain of fake coughs caused both of the twelfth graders to stand up so swiftly, like they could beat the Flash or something. When they looked at the source of this fake asthma, they saw Hueningkai with his arms crossed, and eyes sparkling.

“Oh, uh, hey, Kai.” Yeonjun started coolly, slapping himself to somehow wake him up.

Now the unnecessary plans to bury himself quickly are flooding Soobin’s head.

“Hello, Yeonjun-hyung,” Hueningkai said in an obviously teasing but cheerful voice. “Having fun today, are we?”

Yeonjun smiled. “Of course. I got to cuddle the best cuddler in the world.” He declared, patting Soobin’s head as he did so.

Hueningkai turned to look at Soobin, whose face was all red even under the pulled jacket. “How about you, Soobin-hyung? Having fun? A lovely day, huh?”

Soobin nodded shyly. _I am burying myself tonight._

“You’re having such a lovely day for somebody who betrayed me.” Hueningkai told Soobin in an obviously sarcastic voice. “Now two pairs of my friends are flirting. You guys make me want to believe in love again.” Hueningkai murmured to himself through gritted teeth.

“I heard that.” Yeonjun deadpanned.

“No you didn’t, hyung.”

Whether Yeonjun heard what Hueningkai said or not, it did not change the fact that Soobin wants to get out and just plant himself like a little Plants vs. Zombies sunflower and give away sun forever and ever.

-𝄞-𝄢-

At 7:02 am, 28 minutes before classes started, Soobin played Fantaisie-Impromptu again.

It’s stuck in Soobin’s head and routine that this piece is his destressing piece. It’s close to impossible to remove it from his system now, because this piece has been with him through thick and thin. Maybe he wanted to remove it because it reminded him of those words from strangers. What confused him is that he only remembered those words recently.

It didn’t matter anymore. Soobin had a new way to visualize this piece, anyway.

He’d only need to remember how close Yeonjun was to him yesterday while playing the more serene part of this piece. He’d only need to remember how his vanilla scent smelled so good that near, how Yeonjun would talk in a low voice just to talk to him in that position, how warm Yeonjun’s arms felt around him, how secure Soobin felt inside that big hug.

Even thinking of it is enough to make Soobin go red as his fingers delicately and comfortingly pressed the black and white keys. He’d treat the keys like how Yeonjun treated him with kindness for the past weeks and months or so, and like how Yeonjun gave him the comfort both physically and emotionally yesterday. Yeonjun’s words were something to remember, and something to treasure.

It felt like a fantasy for Soobin, but it was all real.

He can’t believe that somebody as perfect as Yeonjun was real.

“Good morning to my favorite pianist, Soobinie!” As if on cue, Soobin heard a familiar voice say from the entrance of the door. It made Soobin’s heart flutter when he heard the voice of the very person he’s thinking of as he’s playing this composition.

Soobin stopped playing to face this boy, and he saw Yeonjun, standing there with a small wave and a huge smile.

But there was something new about him that he normally didn’t see.

Soobin gestured to his own eyes. “What’s with the glasses, Yeonjun?”

Yeonjun just laughed. “You see, I’ve been using contacts because I didn’t like the feel of glasses, you know? But, today, I’m feeling a little bit daring and new, so I might wear glasses more often from now on.”

Soobin smiled, then blushed as he gave Yeonjun a huge smile. “It doesn’t matter which one you go with, anyway. You’ll still look great.”

Yeonjun’s ears went red, touching his bangs then pushing up his cat-like glasses. “Yes, of course. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back after 2 months it's a ME ! shit im so sorry for not updating my life has been so hectic. also my twitter has been r worded. and i've been playing genshin a lot. i hope y'all are safe !!! ily all
> 
> cc: https://curiouscat.me/tokyogyu  
> twitter: https://twitter.com/HANGEDIOR


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